Item #: SCP-6604
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-6604-1, -2, and -3 must be contained individually within separate Class-2 Containment-Storage lockers at sites 12, 14, 15, 17, or 19. At no time should two or more instances be kept in the same locker.
SCP-6604-3 is to be kept in Site-19 Reserved Anomalous Items (RAI) locker No. 4344, along with instances SCP-6604-3-1 through -3-19. SCP-6604-5 instances must be kept in Site-17's Primary Replicas Locker.
All SCP-6604 instance usage and testing must be approved by Level-3 or Level-4 administrative command before proceeding. SCP-6604-3 and three (or fewer) instances of SCP-6604-5 are to be provided to the subject upon request during interviewing processes and passive communication periods between SCP-6604 instances and Foundation staff.
Description: SCP-6604 is a blanket designation given to five conjoining items/item duplicates:
- SCP-6604-1 — A fedora made of porcelain-white wool felt with a black sleeve at the base. Aside from assisting the Ekurcho Rho process, this item has no known anomalous abilities.
- SCP-6604-2 — A Colt.45 Model 1911 semi-automatic pistol with unusual engravings and cache wood handle plates.
- SCP-6604-3 — An unusual cigar humidor engraved with unintelligible text thought to be written in Latin and containing 19 regular Havana-imported Hav-A-Tampa cigars labeled "1" through "19." None of the cigars, nor the humidor, have been tested. There are no known anomalous abilities in the cigars or the container humidor.
- SCP-6604-4 — An externally regular onyx-colored overcoat set with a diamond-platinum stickpin in the shape of an unidentified four-legged animal. This overcoat has no outright anomalous effects, but it is assumed to keep the wearer perfectly thermally insulated.
- SCP-6604-5 — 44 (recovered/known) gold-rimmed crystal drinking glasses, numbered "1" through "44," with overlay white flora designs. Brief testing revealed that these drinking glasses cannot shatter.
Cannot fetch Flickr photo (id: 52070745087). The photo either does not exist, or is private
SCP-6604.
When instances SCP-6604-1, -4, and any other instances are placed within a 13-meter radius with no physical barricades on their horizontal plane, the objects become post-positively buoyant levitate. Over the course of four seconds, the objects will align to create the appearance of a transparent, mildly overweight adult male standing 1.8 meters tall. The elapse of this process is known as Ekurcho Rho. SCP-6604 is the name given to the sentient coalition of SCP-6604 instances.
This group of instances is capable of human speech, which is delivered in a proper-English, Broolynese accent. Although preliminary testing indicates that the figure presented is not tangible, the tethered SCP-6604 instances appear to act in unison.
History: From 1920 to 1933, Alphonse (Al) Capone's Chicago Outfit provided a predetermined, though unknown, amount of alcoholic substances such as beer and wine to staff and management at local SCP Foundation facilities in exchange for legal assurance and partial legal immunity. During this time, the Chicago Outfit aided the Foundation's growing efforts by reporting anomalies discovered by the criminal organization to Foundation staff. Though unconfirmed, it is speculated that during this time, Capone would keep anomalous objects discovered for himself before turning them in to Foundation hands due to the effects instilled within the SCP-6604 instances. As confirmed by recorded confession, Capone would acquire and preserve undesignated anomalies for himself during his partnership with the SCP Foundation. The anomalies used to improve Capone's items, which are now SCP-6604 instances, are unknown.
Allegations of anomaly smuggling were leveled against the Chicago Outfit in 1930-1931. During this time, relations between the parties deteriorated exponentially, with increased hostility occurring during alcohol transactions. During a transaction delivery (ID:445f) in December 1931, Capone ordered a metal bat from an accompanying accomplice and proceeded to strike Proceedings Manager Karl Philipson. The strike made direct contact with the temple, resulting in an immediate hemorrhage stroke. Capone allegedly continued to beat the individual until he died from cardiac arrest. As a result of this occurrence, the Foundation revoked its legal guarantee to the Chicago outfits.
Although unconfirmed, it is suggested that agents working for the SCP Foundation notified the Internal Revenue Service of Capone's unknown tax evasion practices. Regardless, Capone was arrested in May 1932 for 22 counts of tax evasion.
Capone died on Palm Island in early 1947, eight years after his 11-year incarceration, of unknown* causes. "Fine Della Strada," a plan to assassinate Capone with ricin-implanted cigars, was launched as a result of Capone being suspected of leaking Foundation information to outsiders. Following Capone's assassination, the Foundation Concealment Department falsified medical records and testimonies to suggest a history of untreated syphilis.
Incident Preliminary: (08/19/85) Interview between Researcher Ricky Burkswood and SCP-6604. Recovered from damaged audio archive, Ocula-46.
- Hide
1/1
8:33 AM
Dr. Ricky Burkswood enters the room where SCP-6604 is already seated, having finished a previous interview. Burkswood sits parallel to the subject.
Burkswood: "Hey there."
SCP-6604: "Hey."
Burkswood reaches out his hand.
Burkswood: "How does this work? Can people not touch you and you can touch them or what?"
SCP-6604: "Your tie is- well- tied wrong.."
Burkswood: "Oh, oh my god, it is. That's embarrassing."
Burkswood adjusts his tie, reaching his hand back out. SCP-6604's arm lifts and appears to shake Burkswood's hand.
Burkswood: "That feels so odd. It's like- like when you touch a part of your body that's numb and your numb part can't feel anything but your finger can feel it. You know that feeling?"
SCP-6604: "Uhm. No. Is there a reason I was assembled?"
Burkswood: "Of course. I have them right-"
Burkswood reaches into his pocket and pulls out a folded paper.
Burkswood: "-here. Firstly, we- I- we are interested in understanding how y'know- you got your abilities."
SCP-6604: "Gonna have to be more specific than that, compagno. As far as I'm concerned, I should be dead."
Burkswood: "According to your records, your family reported your anomalous properties in the 60s. However, we're sure you attained these abilities prior to your death. Maybe you even- uh- smuggled anomalies and tested them out yourself."
SCP-6604 laughs briefly.
SCP-6604: "What? Like some mom-and-pop Foundation? Give me a break."
Burkswood: "Well these accusations have stood against you since before your death."
SCP-6604: "You accusing me of breaking my alliance with the Foundation, tough guy?"
Burkswood: "What! No, sir- I mean- SCP-6604- we just don't have an answer as to your anomalous properties and considering you had connections with the Foundation and y'know sketchy practices- it was just accused and nobody disproved it."
SCP-6604: "What do you mean sketchy practices, ay? I done nothin'!"
Burkswood: "I'm just saying you had- uh- were pretty notorious for being kinda untrustworthy with the Valentine's Day Massacre and your battings and-"
SCP-6604: "Ay! Where's your evidence, Wayne Wheeler? I never did none of that stuff. My only crime was being too good at my job. And that's providing the US citizens a valuable commodity."
Burkswood: "Sure, of course."
SCP-6604: "This isn't going anywhere."
Burkswood: "I'm sorry, sir- I mean- uh- yeah-"
SCP-6604: "You know what, I'll cut you off right there. This rooms taping system is down so you can stop playing dress-up."
Burkswood: "Ah."
SCP-6604: "Now listen, if I could figure you're working for the Insurgency, chances are anyone could."
Burkswood rises from his chair defensively.
SCP-6604: "I haven't even let you in on it, yet. Sit down, speedy."
Burkswood sits back down.
SCP-6604: "I'll clue you in. But you can't tell a person. I don't care if you 'don't do spy shit anymore.'"
Burkswood: "And what will you do about it?"
SCP-6604: "You know what I'm capable of. Listen here: tomorrow during my commons period you're going to be there, m'kay?"
Burkswood: "Why me?"
SCP-6604: "Tomorrow, when you're there, and you will be, you will get me my pistol. It's stored at this site and only requires Level-3 clearance to access."
Burkswood: "Of which I possess."
SCP-6604: "You will be there with my pistol."
Burkswood: "I thought the plan was not to kill anyone."
SCP-6604: "You're going to walk over to my table in the commons, place the pistol in my pocket, and leave. Then what you will do is head over to the Euclid containment zone and breach an entity in there."
Burkswood: "Hey! I thought the plan was not to kill anyone."
SCP-6604: "Don't interrupt me, I won't use the pistol if I don't need to. Anyways, you will have a 15 minute period. The cameras will be down. This will distract the site's security and I will escape. The Euclid containment zone is on the opposite size of the facility as the Entrance zone. It is an easy dodge."
Burkswood: "You won't even be able to leave the site! You don't have a bloody keycard!"
SCP-6604: "Bold of you to assume. Don't let down."
At this moment, Burkswood is reprehensible.
Burkswood: "What is the motive here?"
SCP-6604: "A little birdy told me the real reason I died. I was murdered by the SCP Foundation. And get this: over an accusation that I was spilling information. Can you blame me for wanting out? They build me up like a toy and deconstruct me day to day whenever they deem it necessary and you're asking what my motive is?"
Burkswood: "Well now-"
SCP-6604: "Minimal casualties. Nobody will know. Now what you're going to do is walk over to the voice box, unmute it, and say this interview has concluded. Capeesh?"
Burkswood: "And what will you do if I don't comply?"
SCP-6604: "Well then you'll be killed. If I'm lucky, I'll even do it myself."
Burkswood rises once more and walks over to the voice box, muttering into it. Burkswood exits the room as guards enter to deconstruct SCP-6604.
8:40 AM
Incident 6604-Septimum: (08/20/85) SCP-6604 Class-Cossier containment breach event log. Compiled curtesy of the Department of Interrogation.- Hide
1/2
11:31 AM
SCP-6604 sits perched in the Site-17 commons area for a consecutive 20 minutes when Dr. Ricky Burkswood appears.
Burkswood: "Hello, SCP-6604."
SCP-6604: "To what do I owe the pleasure."
Burkswood: "I thought I'd get you lunch."
SCP-6604: "Hm, thanks.."
Burkswood leans in, whispering in his ear.
Burkswood: "I couldn't just slip a gun into your pocket. The pistol is in the plastic milk jug."
SCP-6604: "Well then."
Burkswood: "Good day to you, SCP-6604. I shall be off now."
SCP-6604: "Damn well you should."
Burkswood departs and SCP-6604 remains seated for some time.
SCP-6604: "What the fuck is he up to?"
Another moment passes before the breach alarms are announced. Then, SCP-6604 rips ajar the plastic milk jug, gripping SCP-6604-2 within. Fiddling with the pistol as personnel retreat the commons, the subject conceals the pistol and advances out of the left wing of the commons.
SCP-6604: "A good man."
SCP-6604 struts down the halls before exiting camera view.
11:59 AM
2/2
11:46 AM
Camera EuCZ-12 Ershella
Footage — CCTV
(11:46 AM) — Motion Detected
- 1 humanoid individual
- Black, white, green palette
- 22 seconds on camera
(11:48 AM) — Motion Detected
- Object unidentified (too small for recognition)
- Yellow/grey
- 0.031 seconds on camera
(11:48 AM) — Motion Detected
- Object unidentified (too small for recognition)
- Yellow/grey
- 0.037 seconds on camera
(11:47 AM) — Disruption Detected
- Unknown disruption
- Camera deactivated
- Disruption elapsed 15:00 minutes
(12:02 PM) — Motion Detected
- 2 humanoid individuals
- Palette unidentified
- 47 seconds on camera
(12:03 PM) — Motion Detected
- 1 humanoid individual
- 12 object unidentified (Too small for recognition)
- Palette unidentified
- 30 seconds on camera
(12:05 AM) — Disruption Detected
- Physical disruption
- Camera damaged
- Disruption elapsed —
12:05 PM
Incident Subsequent: (08/24/85) Interrogation between Interrogator Mason Ausher and Researcher Ricky Burkswood. Recorded for the Factotum Assembly.- Hide
1/2
7:01 PM
Dr. Ricky Burkswood is brought into the interrogation room, accompanied by two guards, where Mr. Mason Ausher is already seated, files splayed across the table.
Ausher: "Please. Take a seat."
Burkswood: "Beginning of the end so soon, huh."
Ausher: "Give me a break. I have some quick questions about the recent breach. I understand you're in mourning but we truly do need your insight. And again, I'm sorry for your loss. He was quite the staff member."
Burkswood: "Truly."
Ausher: "The first order of business, to be blunt, is noting your location at the time of the breach."
Burkswood: "Why is my input relevant?"
Ausher: "Please comply and this will be better for the both of us."
Burkswood: "Alright. Location… uh… site lavatory, the communal one."
Ausher: "Why?"
Burkswood: "Is there a problem with me taking a shit at work?"
Ausher: "Not at all. We just find your claim problematic considering testimonies confirming your leave from the commons prior to the breach."
Burkswood: "The lavatory is near the commons."
Ausher: "The Euclid Containment Zone isn't."
Burkswood raises his head to face Ausher, previously appearing uninterested.
Burkswood: "And?"
Ausher: "And- is this not you?"
Ausher pulls a photograph out of his folder, depicting Burkswood on CCTV footage.
Ausher: "Good ol' reliable Ershella. This is you in the Euclid Containment Zone just minutes before the breach, as you can guess, in the Euclid Containment Zone. So, is there an explanation?"
Burkswood: "I was running a power check at this time. Unfortunate for the circumstances, the power broker is in that specific containment zone."
Ausher: "Interesting."
Burkswood: "Now, can I go?"
Ausher: "Not just yet. I'd like to tell you a tale. Purely fictional."
Burkswood: "A tale? Is this necessary?"
Ausher: "There is this wolf who is wearing the costume of a sheep. He hides amongst all the sheep but one day, he lunges at another sheep and sinks his teeth into it, killing it. Now all the other sheep are horrified, nobody saw the act. However, one man did: a friend of the wolf. That friend, through some light encouragement, spilled. Then, that wolf was found and tried and executed. The end."
Burkswood: "I don't get it. Truly."
Ausher: "Your friend, Dr. Olein, told us everything."
Burkswood: "I guess there's no playing coy, huh."
Ausher grabs a blank slate of paper from his folder, handing it to Burkswood.
Ausher: "I expect a complete confession within 30 minutes, both concerning your conspiracy with the escaped anomaly and the rigged breach. Nobody will give a shit when you're executed, but we need a log."
Ausher rises from his seat and exits the room.
Connor: "Now what do to about Olein?"
Ausher: "Have him killed quietly. His involvement is questionable at the least and and absolute at most."
7:11 PM
2/2
12:13 PM
Public Announcement
Recent events at Site-17 resulted in a staged Euclid-class breach, which resulted in 12 - 14 casualties and two breached anomalies, one of which is still missing from containment both of which were successfully contained and autopsies were performed. Instead, perpetrator Ricky Burkswood was convicted and executed for his atrocity. An investigation into the motivation for this event is still ongoing.
12:14 PM