DrowningDutchman
It is I Dutch. I have written more stuff! DrowningDutchman
Item#: 7139
Level2
Containment Class:
euclid
Secondary Class:
none
Disruption Class:
keneq
Risk Class:
notice
Special Containment Procedures: All files within the scope of SCP-7139, currently SCP-7139-1 through SCP-7139-7, are to be kept on a secure storage drive in a standard anomalous items containment locker inside Site-25. During testing the storage drive containing the SCP-7139 files is never to be used with computers or printers connected to the internet or the Foundation network in any form to prevent SCP-7139 from proliferating back onto the internet.
Description: SCP-7139 refers to a .zip file that contains seven .stl files. The .zip file was found being advertised on multiple .stl hub websites as 'Good prints for beginners and experts!' and 'A fun collection of trinkets!'. There does not seem to be a specific theme to the files themselves, or the anomalous characteristics exhibited by the files when printed.
When loaded into a 'slicer' and printed on any 3D printer the successful prints start exhibiting their anomalous characteristics up to two hours after being completed. The anomalous behavior varies between the files but always seems thematically appropriate for the object printed. The models do not seem to exhibit any anomalous characteristics if they are edited or opened in any 3D modeling program.
The following files are currently known to be part of SCP-7139:
Designation
Title
Description
Anomalous Characteristic
SCP-7139-1
Cattuette
A 10cm tall 'Maneki-Neko' statuette
When placed on a shelf next to another object it will occasionally knock the other object off of the shelf. No specific timeframe has been found for this effect.
SCP-7139-2
Die Time
An Icosahedron die
When rolled this die occasionally doesn't stop rolling on its own and will continue until picked up.
SCP-7139-3
Sub-Woofer
A 10cm tall dog statuette
A Barking sound gets emitted from the object after the sound of a doorbell is played.
SCP-7139-4
My Heart belongs to you
a small anatomically correct heart-shaped keychain.
The heart beats for 20 minutes at a time every 5 hours.
SCP-7139-5
Flight of the bumblebee
A small low-polybumblebee
Can take small flights. Note: The ability of SCP-7139-5 to fly seems to be tied to the size it is printed at.
SCP-7139-6
Summertime Sadness
A life-size soft-serve ice cream cone
The ice cream melts over the course of 8 hours
SCP-7139-7
Snek
A 30cm long articulated snake
The snake slithers in place at random intervals for 5 minutes at a time.
SCP-7139 has been connected to a member of GOI 5869 'Jonathan Kirby' who has been taken in for interrogation after SCP-7139 was discovered and secured by the foundation. Kirby has been taken in under the guise of drug charges by 5 assembled members of MTF Iota-10. The arrest log and the interview with Mr. Kirby will be supplied in the related documents section of this entry.
SCP-7139 was discovered by personnel monitoring online reports of possible anomalies. When the team came across SCP-7139 it had already been distributed to approximately 100 people. The files were traced and deleted off of devices of unauthorized peoples and transferred to a secure drive. All instances where SCP-7139 had been distributed have been examined to evaluate the best way to properly amnestize the people that had downloaded the files. This has been achieved by sending e-mails containing images with amnestic and anti-memetic properties that were deleted upon viewing by the subject. The monitoring for anomalous activity related to SCP-7139 was suspended after a year post retrieval.
Related Documents
Close Report
Online Incident #14452
Discovery report of Online Anomaly
Subject
.STL files flagged as possibly anomalous
Researcher/agent
Agent J. Andersson
Date of Discovery
18-04-2021
Incident
Some files uploaded to a popular 3D printing file sharing hub website were flagged as possibly anomalous by Foundation A.I. searching the internet for possible anomalous files, events, and other online incidents. The files were quickly taken offline by Foundation Online monitoring personnel. The files had been downloaded approximately 100 times by people around the world. Foundation Online monitoring scrubbed computers connected to the internet that had visited the page the files were distributed from and all people who downloaded the files have been contacted and given amnestics to prevent the further dissemination of information. The page will continue to be monitored for activity and the possible re-emergence of the file.
NOTICE PERTAINING TO THE ABOVE INVESTIGATION.
Date: 20-04-2022
The above-mentioned webpage has been monitored for a year with no further anomalous activity showing. The Account that posted the files has been deleted from the website as it was linked to GOI-5869. Since neither the account that posted the files nor the files themselves have returned, the observation of the website will be suspended.
— Agent J. Andersson
Close Report
Close Arrest Log
Official Arrest Log 7139-α
PoI
Jonathan Kirby aka. PinkPieceofShit
GoI
5869 - Gamers Against Weed
MTF Team
MTF Iota-10
Involved Agents
G. Kyles, D. Martinsen, E. Walters, G. Walsh, M. Singh.
Date
28-10-2022
Time
12:00
Summary: The following is a document detailing the arrest of Mr. Jonathan Kirby, a person of interest involved with GoI 5869. The arrest consisted of 4 agents to arrest Mr. Kirby and 1 driver to keep the retrieval of Mr. Kirby as effective as possible. The Agents of MTF Iota-10 were sent to retrieve Mr. Kirby at 12:00. Kirby was retrieved at 12:14.
Singh: Well we're here, but it looks like he just went inside so we wait until he comes out.
Walters: Wait, why can't we go inside?
Singh: Orders. Also, since he's with the Gamers he's probably dangerous.
Walsh: Never got that? they're pretty powerful and they're just here to what? Make memes and shitposts? Could use those god powers for other things…
<pause>
Kyles: Dude what the fuck? I get what you mean, but do you want them to-
Walsh: No, I do not want them to actually do that.
Martinsen: This is not a discussion to be held now, talk about your weird power fantasies later or some shit. Just be happy these people are relatively harmless.
Singh: They're still dangerous, Don't underestimate these people.
<log continues as Kirby comes outside>
Singh: Let's get rolling there he is.
Walsh: The skinny guy in the shorts? really? Can't im-
Singh: Just get out Walsh and do your fucking job.
Body cam footage shows Agents Walsh, Martinsen, Kyles, and Walters getting out of the van weapons drawn.
Walters: Jonathan Kirby! Hands in the air! Drop what you're holding and don't resist!
Agents Walsh and Martinsen can be seen going around motioning people away and keeping their weapons on Kirby. Kirby at this time is seen turning around towards the yelling, looking outwardly confused, dropping the bag he was holding and putting his hands up. Agent Walters advances on Kirby quickly.
Kirby: What's go-
Walters grabs one of Kirby's arms and quickly pulls him to the ground. Holstering his weapon again as he puts his knee on the man's back. Walters then Handcuffs the man.
Kirby: OU- WHAT THE FUCK
**Walters:**Shut up, you're being arrested on suspicion of the Production and Supply of Drugs. You're coming with us for interrogation.
Kirby: THAT MAKES NO FU-
Walters: Shut your mouth! stand up.
Walters gets his knee out of Kirby's back and pulls him to his feet escorting him to the van, the other members following them.
Kirby: THIS IS BULLS-
Walters: Be quiet! You're not going anywhere.
Kyles opens the side door to the van and Walters loads Kirby in the back. Kyles, Martinsen and Walsh also get in the back, Walsh knocks on the divide to signal they can go.
Kirby: My fucking face hurts what the fuck, I didn't make and I don't talk to cops.
Walters: You're in our custody for distributing anomalous items over the internet. You're in custody of the SCP Foundation.
Kirby: You smacked my face into the pavement for THIS?
Walters: Yes, these are serious charges. You're being taken in for questioning.
Kirby: Couldn't have come up with something more original than drug charges?
Walters: Shut up.
<End log 12:15>
Close Arrest Log
Close Interview Log
Interviewed: Jonathan Kirby aka. PinkPieceofShit, known member of GoI 5869.
Interviewer: Dr. Frederik Warner, lead researcher of inanimate anomalous objects at Site-25. Observed by Dr. Marianne Fischer.
Foreword: Interview was conducted on 28-10-2022 after the suspect was secured by 5 members of MTF Ιota-10 who worked in close proximity to where Mister Kirby lived. The suspect was secured outside of a local fast food establishment
<Interview start: 28-10-2022 - 15:27>
Dr. Warner: This is Doctor Warner, Inanimate Anomalous Items Researcher at Site-25. Overseeing the interrogation of Jonathan Kirby alias: PinkPieceofShit
Kirby [interrupting Dr.Warner]: You actually said it! Amazing! I knew the username was about to pay off sometime!
Dr. Warner: This is the preliminary investigation in the case of SCP-7139. Please state your full name and relevant information for the record, please.
Kirby: FULL name? Sure, Jonathan Franklin Ferdinand Andreas Nicholas Kirby. 25 years old and pissed off that you people fucking yoinked me when I was getting food! I just wanted a shitty hamburger and now both the burger and the money have gone to waste.
Dr. Warner: Please take this seriously Mister Kirby.
Kirby: You let me wait for like three hours! I just want to go home and sleep. I've been up all night and now I'm here AND you pretended to arrest me on drug charges. That better not fucking show up anywhere. Also, I could be your fucking grandson and here you are calling me mister.
Dr. Warner: Do I have to remind you you're currently in the custody of t-
Kirby: The Foundation? Yeah, I know. Your lackeys told me and you're late to the party, I have the UN on my ass every now and then.
Dr. Warner: Behave yourself, it's a wonder you're even alive if the GOC is after you. However, we have to figure out why these files behave like this.
Kirby: WAIT, this is about the files? Those were taken offline mysteriously like…a year and a half ago! You work slow as shit dudes. This is only getting better and better.
Dr. Warner: Well, then you won't mind explaining how they work.
Kirby: Nice try, a magician never reveals their secrets! I'm just a perpetually online nerd who can do some funny things.
Dr. Warner: I take it your live-in boyfriend doesn't know about your perpetually online activities then.
Kirby: Fuck off. You tell me how you'd explain: Hey babe I'm being monitored by the UN because I can do magic. Don't drag him into this.
Dr. Warner: They're monitoring you?
Kirby: You don't know? I thought you had direct links to each other or some shit. Guess I have no idea how life works then.
Dr. Warner: That doesn't answer my question.
Kirby: I don't want to answer the question. I am not supposed to show any official documentation to anyone who can not identify themselves as part of the UNGOC and since we're in this boring ass interrogation room with a distinct lack of pentagrams, I'd say you're not with them.
Dr. Warner: You could have seriously affected the veil with this stunt, you know that right? And you're not complying with this investigation.
Kirby: Yeah? And? The worst possible thing is people get a statue that knocks something off their shelf or a die that just keeps going. It's really not that big of a deal and I am complying, just not with you.
Dr. Warner: If the file finds an internet connection it immediately uploads back to the hub website.
Kirby: That's a simple auto-upload script? I thought you people were supposed to be smart.
Dr. Warner: How many of these files are there?
Kirby: I was working on number eight and then it disappeared so I didn't bother.
Dr. Warner: This is going nowhere, I'm ending the interview
Kirby: You better fucking let me go home and get me a hamburger.
Dr.Warner: Before we let you go we have to make sure you're not going to pose a threat to the veil more so than you already did.
Kirby: As long as you don't make it take too long.
<End interview 28-10-2022 15:40>
End Note: Kirby was kept in custody until confirmation was received by the GOC on his status. He is to be monitored for more of his online activity, this is to be done by the GOC as they're already monitoring him. Kirby was released back to the location he was picked up from at 17:50. Kirby was administered Class-A Amnestics before being released back to the public. Kirby's computers were replaced with bugged equipment to keep track of files he uploads to intercept other anomalous files.
Close Interview Log