the first recipe you ever made
🕰️ Word Count: 2.4k Words 🕰️
Item #: SCP-7438
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: Personnel are permitted and encouraged to utilize their given perception of SCP-7438 for culinary purposes. All personnel are to note their perception of SCP-7438 upon initial contact with the object, as well as any believed new perceptions. All known perceptions of SCP-7438 are to be transcribed.
Description: SCP-7438 is a piece of paper containing a written recipe for chicken and French fries. The perception of SCP-7438 varies between persons. There are a nine currently known perceptions of SCP-7438. At any time, a person may see a differing perception of SCP-7438 seemingly at random. Each individual perception of SCP-7438 pertains to a different recipe.
The individual elements of each recipe are subject to variation, although will usually contain the core facets of:
- Cooked Chicken
- A cooked potato cut into standard fry shape
It is not currently known whether SCP-7438 has a single definitive recipe on it.
All recipes have been transcribed exactly as they are perceived, regardless of spelling or format changes. The only exception being the numbering of each perception as for clarity.
RECIPE ONE
Ingredients:
2x Chicken Breasts (Skinless, boneless)
3x Russette Potatos
4x Tsp Salt
2x Tsp Pepper
2x Tbsp Olive Oil
8x Cups Peanut Oil
Instructions:
Take each potato and peel, then wash. After, cut into a fry shape and let sit in a bowl of water for thirty minutes.
While the potatos rest in the water, add your salt and pepper to both of your chickens and mix around. After seasoned, move over to a pan and coat with your olive oil. Place both of your chicken breasts down on the pan. Flip after six minutes. Remove after a further four minutes.
As you cook the chickens, prepare a pot with your peanut oil and heat to 375°. Remove your fries from the water and pat dry with a paper towel, then carefully lower into your oil after you flip the chicken. Leave in for three-to-five minutes, or until you notice a pleasant golden-brown color develop.
Give time to cool, then plate up!
Bon Appetit!
M. Mada
No anomalous effects were noticed upon following the recipe. It has hence been concluded that the finished product following SCP-7438 poses no anomalous capability.
RECIPE TWO
Ingredients:
- Buttermilk
- Pickle Juice
- Chicken Breasts (2)
- Potatos (2)
- All-Purpose Flour
- Pepper
- Cayenne
- Paprika
- Garlic Powder
- Onion Powder
- Vegetable Oil
- Salt
Instructions:
Day before, mix buttermilk and pickle juice together and put your chicken inside. Let marinade for at least an hour, although preferably overnight.
Day of, chop up your potatos into a fry shape and let sit in water for an hour. Mix your flour and seasonings (excluding the salt, the pickle brine has made the chicken salty already). In your cooking vehicle, heat up enough oil to cover the chicken to 400°. Drench the chicken in the seasoned flour, then slowly drop the chicken into the oil. Cook for eight-to-twelve minutes, then remove.
After the chicken is done cooking, slowly lower in your fries. Cook until golden-brown, then remove. Salt fries while still hot.
Enjoy!
F. Mada
RECIPE THREE
Ingredients:
- Milk
- Chicken Breasts (3)
- Potatoes (4)
- All-Purpose Flour
- Half a Jar of Pickle Juice
- A Small Amount of Cayenne
- A Slightly Larger Amount of Paprika
- Too Much Garlic Powder
- Onion Powder
- Cinnamon
- Vegetable Oil
- Salt
Instructions:
Combine milk with pickle juice (ignore that you can not find buttermilk in your fridge, just use more pickle juice than normal) and let chicken marinate in for forty-eight hours.
Chop your potatoes into fries (of varying size) and put aside. Pour your chicken and marinade on the flour, mix around until you have a gloopy mess. Realize that you forgot to add the seasoning and add with-haste. Heat your oil to 400°, then move to add chicken (while you grab the chickens, you should forget to lower the temperature and incidentally raise the oil up to somewhere around 500°). Add chicken by dropping it from three inches of height, then rush to wash hand after hot oil splashes on it.
As you wash hand, make sure to burn the slurry surrounding the chicken. Remove after six minutes when achieving a deep-brown/slight black exterior.
Add fries to oil and cut off heat (you should believe, falsely, that the residual heat will cook the fries to completion), then wait five minutes. Stir once midway through as to dispersed the burnt bits at the bottom among the fries. Remove fries and plate.
Drown the fries in enough ketchup to ignore that they are undercooked while scraping the burnt breading off before consuming.
Best eaten without moisture.
Terry Mada
The following two perceptions are typically perceived at different times by one perceiving person. A person will perceive one of the two recipes - and then four days following will perceive the second. After another four days, they will once again perceive the first.
RECIPE FOUR
Ingredients:
- Potatoes (2)
- Salt
- Olive oil
Instructions:
Watch a YouTube video before heading to bed, then save its recipe.
Peel your potatoes, and slice into thick fry shapes. Bring a pot of water to a boil, then lower your potatoes in carefully with a spoon as to avoid burning your hands with hot water. Boil until the fries fall apart when poked with a fork (they should have only been just soft enough to barely pierce with a fork) and drain.
Layer onto a baking sheet and cover with olive oil. Stir around (getting hot water and steam everywhere), then place into your oven for forty minutes at 375° Fahrenheit. Stir once midway through.
Remove fries from tray and place into a bowl with a paper towel. Remove paper towel prematurely, then apply salt. Shake around.
Best eaten delegated to making the side dish.
Terry Mada
RECIPE FIVE
Ingredients:
- Chicken Thighs (2)
- Salt
- Pepper
- Garlic Powder
- Onion Powder
- Cayenne Powder
- Cinnamon
- Olive Oil
Instructions:
Watch a YouTube video from a YouTuber who, in retrospect, wasted most of the food they made for content, and learn what seasonings they put on their chicken. Watch another video from a less-wasteful YouTuber and learn that chicken thighs are better to cook than breasts.
An hour before cooking, season your chicken with salt (and only salt, for now). After an hour has passed, grab your reasonable seasonings (and also cinnamon, for whatever reason shall possess you) and apply to the chicken. Drizzle your pan with olive oil and heat on medium-high. Flip once every two minutes, remove after fourteen.
Cut into tender and juicy chicken where the cinnamon surprisingly works.
Best eaten without your parent's knowledge.
The previous five perceptions were all transcribed roughly within a two-week span. For the following five months, no new perceptions were noted.
During routine usage, Researcher Emerald Page noted that she had found a new perception of SCP-7438. Several other researchers since have noted new perceptions of the recipe from their original.
RECIPE SIX
Ingredients:
- 5x Chicken Thighs (Skin-On, Boned)
- 4x Potatoes
- Salt
- Black Pepper
- Garlic Powder
- Onion Powder
- Monosodium Glutamate (Scrutinized)
- Cinnamon
- Cayenne
- Paprika Powder
- Olive Oil
Cookware:
- Pot
- Pan
- Baking Tray
- Cutting Board
- Knife
- Plastic Bag
- Paper Towel
- Fork
Instructions:
Take chicken thighs and cut off the bone and save for broth at a different time, and then cut uneven portions of your chicken until achieving a thorough equally-flat state. At least one hour before cooking, salt your chicken and place in a bag then refrigerate (Don't be ridiculous, this is something that will be done a full day ahead of time.)
Decide to not peel your potatoes and cut into a thick fry shape. Bring a pot of water to a boil, then place your fries in. Let boil for several minutes until soft enough to pierce with a fork, then carefully strain as to avoid breaking your potatoes. Dry potatoes using paper towels and let sit for several minutes to cool. When you are ready, add salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, and olive oil to your fries and mix around. Heat oven to 375° Fahrenheit (190° C) and add fries. Mix every fifteen minutes until the skin is crunchy to your satisfaction.
At least fifteen minutes before your fries are ready, remove your chicken. Season with black pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, cayenne, paprika, M.S.G., and cinnamon. Heat your pan and apply a thin layer of olive oil. After heated, drop chicken into the pan. Flip every two minutes. Although you should use a thermometer, don't. Cook for fourteen minutes then remove.
Utensils:
- Knife
- Fork
- Plate
Also Bring:
- Paper Napkin (Cloth Napkins Should Be Dirty)
Best eaten with, by now, exclusively maternal company - and a conversation to boot.
Mada
Recipe seven is the rarest perception documented thus far by standard personnel, with only twelve personnel reporting as of yet.
RECIPE SEVEN
Instructions:
Go to your local Kentucky Fried Chicken joint and buy some overpriced, unflavored, chicken as well as the worst fries of your life because you do not trust the dorm kitchen cookware.
Best eaten by yourself.
Mada
RECIPE EIGHT
Ingredients:
- 2x Chicken Thighs
- Bag of Frozen Fries
- Salt
- Pepper
- Garlic Powder
- Onion Powder
- Cayenne
- Pickle Juice
- Buttermilk
Instructions:
Day before, mix one part pickle juice to three parts buttermilk and let marinate overnight.
Day of, stick your bag of frozen fries into the air frier and cook as their instructions state. Remove the chicken from the marinade and pat dry with paper towel, then season with all mentioned seasonings excluding salt.
Drizzle olive oil into your pan and cook chicken thighs in. Use a thermometer and remove thighs at between 175° and 185°.
Put on a paper plate.
Best eaten in the midst of exploration.
Most Certainly a Mada
Discovery: SCP-7438 was discovered just off-campus of Portland State University in an apartment complex. The specific apartment it was located in had previously been rented for two years by an as-of-then unidentified person, but had recently began being rented to a person who found SCP-7438 in a cabinet.
The person who found SCP-7438 would show it to other persons, to which most had differing perceptions of the recipe. A post would be made online containing the recipe where several dozen people had different perceptions of it. Foundation agents soon noticed the post, took it down, and would seize SCP-7438.
Search efforts began to locate 'Mada' soon after transcription begin. Eight months following the initial seizure of SCP-7438, Mada would be located.
Interviewed: Mada
Age: 23
Residence: Seattle, United States
Gender: N/A
Marital Status: Engaged
Q. What is your full legal name?
A. Terry Paris Mada.
Q. Anything you like to go by?
A. Teagan's fine.
Q. What was your major Teagan?
A. Marketing.
Q. What is your favorite food?
A. Huh… I honestly can't really say. I'd say something like shakshuka. All that jazz.
Q. Do you make shakshuka often?
A. Every month or so, every few months. It's not something I make often.
Q. What do you make often?
A. Pasta, stir-fry, chicken, baked potatoes.
Q. Do you make chicken and fries often?
A. Eh, I wouldn't say often. It's certainly something I make but not up there. It is the first full thing I started cooking, though.
Q. How long have you been making chicken and fries?
A. Oh, probably since I was around fifteen. I tried to copy my dad's recipe but I can't honestly say it ended up that well.
Q. What's your dad's name?
A. Frank.
Q. Do you know where we could find him?
A. Somewhere about six feet under.
Q. Have you made chicken frequently since?
A. Every few weeks or every few months, that sort of thing.
Q. Has your means of cooking that evolved over time?
A. Most certainly.
Q. What do you see on this piece of paper?
A. I just see a blank piece of paper.
Mada was released from Foundation custody following the interview. Shortly following the interview, personnel began noting a ninth perception of SCP-7438.
RECIPE NINE
Ingredients:
- 3x Chicken Thighs
- 2x Potatoes
- Salt
- Black Pepper
- Garlic Powder
- Onion Powder
- Cayenne
- Paprika
- Cinnamon
- Garlic
- Rosemary
- Sage
- Olive Oil
- Onions
- Carrots
- Celery
- Butter
- Flour
Cookware:
- Pot
- Pan
- Baking Tray
- Cutting Board
- Glass Container
- Paper Towels
- Fork
- Whisk
Instructions:
Prepare chicken. Cut out bones then slice until all three thighs are an even shape (cut off excess bits of meat, they go excessively crispy when fried). Cover with salt and store in glass container overnight.
In a pot, begin to boil bones and any old vegetables you have. If you do not have old vegetables, add in about half an onion, garlic, celery, and carrots. Boil for several hours, then strain solids out. Freeze stock for later.
Day of cooking, wash off your potatoes then chop into fry shape. Boil for ten-to-twenty minutes or until pierceable with a fork. Strain and dry with paper towels. Put on a baking tray with olive oil, salt, black pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, rosemary, other half of your onion (diced), garlic, and paprika. Bake at 400° Fahrenheit (204° Celsius) for fifty minutes, stirring once at fifteen and once at thirty minutes.
After stirring the fries at the thirty minute mark, remove chicken from container, pat dry with paper towel, then add black pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, sage, cayenne, paprika, and cinnamon. Coat pan with olive oil and heat. One second prior to adding chicken, apply a small amount of olive oil to each individual chicken thigh and coat evenly. Add chicken to pan and cook, flipping every two minutes at medium-high temperature. Begin checking temperature around six minutes in. Wait until temperature reads 175° Fahrenheit (80° Celsius). Remove chicken to let rest and turn temperature on to medium.
Add in a small amount of chicken stock and use it to deglaze the bottom of the pan. Add in butter, let melt, then slowly add flour to make a roux (Three parts flour to two parts butter). Add in chicken stock from earlier, whisk well. Optionally add further seasoning.
Utensils:
- Plate x3
- Fork x3
- Knife x3
- Cloth Napkin x3
- Gravy Carrying Dish
Best eaten when your mother is over to visit you and your fiancée for the first time since you've been set to be her wife.
Teagan Mada