Individuals affected by SCP-7828 invariably vanish immediately after expressing their intent to attempt an act or procedure referred to as the "Three Custard Solo"
This document is being actively updated following the events detailed in Addendum 6. If you have any complaints or suggestions regarding this file, please forward them to your on-site RAISA Liaison.
— María Jones, Director, RAISA
3/7828 LEVEL 3/7828
CLASSIFIED
Item #: SCP-7828
Keter
Phonetic transcription of the phrase.
Special Containment Procedures: Foundation web crawlers are to continuously monitor online communities, academic journals, professional organizations, and relevant social media platforms for any mention of the phrase "Three Custard Solo". All reported instances of said phrase are to be forwarded immediately to Dr. Anna Smith for review.
The use of Class-C amnestics on witnesses of an SCP-7828 event and the development and dissemination of relevant cover stories are allowed in order to preserve the integrity of the veil.
Description: SCP-7828 refers to a series of sudden and unexplained disappearances affecting individuals of notable proficiency or expertise in disparate and otherwise unrelated professional or creative fields. Individuals affected by SCP-7828 invariably vanish immediately prior to, during, or shortly after attempting, or verbally expressing their intent to attempt, an act or procedure referred to as the "Three Custard Solo".
Discovery: On July 1st, 2021, a championship chess match between Chess Masters Dennis Carlisle and Igor Kuznetsov was interrupted by the sudden disappearance of Kuznetsov.
The game followed a tense, tactical battle with opposite-side castling leading to mutual attacks. A series of forcing moves and material exchanges culminated in a rook invasion at Move 37.
2021 World Chess Championship Final
White: GM Dennis Carlisle (2769)
Black: GM Igor Kuznetsov (2747)
Round 4, Board 1
e4 c5
Sicilian Defense
Nf3 d6
Open Sicilian
d4 cxd4
Open Sicilian - central pawn exchange
Nxd4 Nf6
Sicilian Classical Variation
Nc3 a6
Najdorf Variation
Be3 e5
Boleslavsky Variation
[28 additional moves removed for brevity]
Rg7+ Kh8
Rook invasion with check; King evasion
Bg4 h5
Bishop development; pawn push
Bh3 Nxh3
Bishop retreat; Knight capture
Rxh3 Rb2
Recapture; Rook invasion
At this point, contestant Kuznetsov stood up from his seat and declared that he was about to perform the "Three Custard Solo". Immediately following this declaration, eyewitnesses claimed that Kuznetsov suddenly vanished, leaving behind his clothes. Witnesses also reported hearing a loud popping sound, likely caused by air closing the newly formed vacuum where Kuznetsov had been.
A follow-up investigation into the background of Kuznetsov did not reveal any mention of this move or any stated intention to perform it.
Dr. Smith's Personal Log
As soon as I was assigned to this project, I forwarded it to an acquaintance who works in Memetics. This is 101 stuff — you see a silly phrase that doesn’t actually mean anything, and it was most likely designed to mess with your head. But then the results came in, and they said it was clear: there’s nothing special about these words on their own.
Looking over the photos and videos of the incident, a pile of clothes lying on the ground, it reminded me of something I’ve seen before, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.
I went over every inch of the man's history: career, family, education — I even cross-referenced his whereabouts with known geographical anomalies. There’s no indication that he was planning anything out of the ordinary.
Maybe there’s something about this list of chess moves that explains it. I’ve never been a chess person, but it seems I might need to become one.
Addendum: Incident Report 7828-2.
At the Dallas Air Show on July 20, 2021, pilot Carlos Estevez was performing a sequence of scheduled stunts in a modified F-16 jet when he appeared to lose control of the aircraft, colliding with the ground and injuring seven bystanders.
Air traffic control had maintained communication with Estevez throughout the show, relaying and confirming his intentions before performing each maneuver. In the moments prior to the crash, air traffic control reported radio static and was unable to hear Estevez's last transmission. They asked him to repeat, but he did not.
The recovered flight data recorder contained an audio recording of the final moments before the crash.
FLIGHT DATA RECORDER TRANSCRIPT: F-16C Block 50 #96-2747
12:47:22 | ATC: Thunderbird 5, cleared for high-speed pass, maintain 500 feet.
12:47:26 | ESTEVEZ: Roger that, Thunderbird 5 beginning high-speed pass at 500.
12:47:51 | ATC: Looking good, Thunderbird 5. Wind is now 240 at 12 knots.
12:47:55 | ESTEVEZ: Copy the winds. Completing pass now.
12:48:08 | ATC: Thunderbird 5, you're cleared for knife-edge pass on next run.
12:48:13 | ESTEVEZ: Thunderbird 5 acknowledges, setting up for knife-edge.
12:48:47 | ATC: Clean pass, Thunderbird 5.
12:48:52 | ESTEVEZ: Appreciate you, tower. Finale time. Let’s show them something new.
12:49:01 | ATC: Roger that, Thunderbird 5, cleared for vertical climb.
12:49:07 | ESTEVEZ: Change of plans. I’m not doing the vertical climb. I’ve got something better. I'm going to perform the Three Custard Solo.
12:49:11 | ATC: Thunderbird 5, say again? You're breaking up.
12:49:17 | [Engine pitch fluctuation recorded]
12:49:21 | [Sudden drop in engine RPM]
12:49:22 | ATC: Thunderbird 5, do you copy? Your altitude is decreasing.
12:49:26 | [Multiple cockpit alarms activate - Master Caution, Engine Failure, Attitude warnings]
12:49:28 | ATC: Thunderbird 5, pull up immediately. Repeat, pull up immediately.
12:49:32 | [Collision]
Crash investigators located the remains of Estevez’s flight suit, oxygen mask, and communication equipment in the cockpit. The ejection seat was not deployed. No biological remains were recovered at the crash site.
Dr. Smith's Personal Log
So, apparently the week I spent learning about chess was pointless; whatever this is, it affects pilots too. The circumstances are almost entirely different… where’s the common thread here?
Estevez, Kuznetsov – they were both experts, masters in their field. They’re just entirely different fields.
What’s driving these people to attempt this nonsense maneuver anyway? I can’t rule out some kind of cognitohazardous influence, so… let me state for the record:
I have no intention of performing the Three Custard Solo.
Still, the tone in Estevez’s voice didn’t sound like anomalous coercion to me. It sounded like he wanted to do this maneuver – he was excited to. Proud, even.
Estevez left his clothes behind, like the chess men… I’ve worked a few demanifestation anomalies, and that’s unusual. It points to biology, not dimensional rifts.
I remember now what it was reminding me of. My parents used to have this painting over the mantlepiece. I don’t remember the name, but it was supposed to show the Rapture – a few piles of clothes left at a bus stop, and one poor guy standing next to them, with this look on his face as if to say, “why not me?”
It terrified me as a kid. They told me that was the point, to be afraid. Belief does stupid things to people.
Lucky me: I don’t believe in anything anymore.
Addendum 2: Incident Report 7828-3.
At the Tokyo Summer Olympic Games in 2021, British diver Theresa Molyneux submitted for approval the list of dives she intended to perform for the Women’s 10m Platform Final.
Dive Sheet – Theresa Molyneux (GBR) – Final Round
Dive #
Dive Code
Description
Position
DD
1
407C
Inward 3½ Somersaults
Tuck
3.4
2
5255B
Back 2½ Somersaults with 2½ Twists
Pike
3.4
3
309C
Reverse 4½ Somersaults
Tuck
3.7
4
107B
Forward 3½ Somersaults
Pike
3.0
5
2747
Three Custard Solo
[Unregistered]
?
Submitted: August 4, 2021
Status: REJECTED
Reason: Final dive "Three Custard Solo" and dive code “2747” not found in FINA Table of Dives.
When technical delegates attempted to locate Molyneux to inform her of the rejection, she was missing from her residence in the Olympic Village. A full set of clothes was found on the bedroom floor next to an open laptop.
Examination of the aforementioned laptop did not reveal anything unusual on Molyneux's private hard drive or internet search history.
Dr. Smith's Personal Log
Divers too. I think we've established that the specific field of expertise is irrelevant at this point.
Again, there’s a voluntary aspect to this. Something affects these top performers, makes them want to try this move… or at least declare their intention to. I know memetics cleared the phrase, but something still feels wrong here. I feel like I’m being watched… and mocked.
Let the record show:
I have no intention of performing the Three Custard Solo.
We need to understand this better — whatever it is. It's time to get some tests authorized.
Addendum 3: Experiment Log 7828-1.
Experiment Log 7828-A
OBJECTIVE: Determine if the phrase “Three Custard Solo” has an observable anomalous effect in a controlled laboratory setting.
PROCEDURE: One P3 individual will be observed using the phrase “Three Custard Solo” in various scenarios:
- Spoken out loud, alone and with witnesses;
- As a written message, passed to a witness;
- As a spoken intention during a game of:
- Chess
- Go
- Connect 4;
- As a prompt in an abstract visualization exercise, with explicit instruction to imagine for themselves what a “Three Custard Solo” might entail, and to formulate a strong intention to perform such an action.
RESULT: No anomalous phenomena observed.
Dr. Smith's Personal Log
I could hardly get the participant to stop laughing long enough to perform the tests. They said it was the easiest $10,000 they’d ever made.
Sometimes I wonder why I still do this, after all these years. There are days when my entire career feels like a fucking joke. One long setup to a punchline I won't even understand.
Does God have a sense of humor? I don't think anything else would scare me more than that.
I do have one hypothesis, though: our test participant wasn’t an expert in any particular field. They were normal. Ordinary. Maybe they hadn’t earned the “right” to perform… whatever this is.
If nothing else, at least I have something concrete to go off of now.
Addendum 4: Incident Report 7828-4.
On October 16th, 2021, at the São Paulo Fusionfest Transcendent Arts Festival, Brazilian singer Marcelo Ferreira, lead singer and guitarist of the jazz-fusion band Carnival Spritz, disappeared during a live concert.
The event was being filmed, and the audio from the sound board was recorded. 90 minutes into the band’s performance, Ferreira solicited the crowd for requests. After hearing several suggestions, Ferreira shook his head and nodded to his band members, before stating:
“Valeu galera, mas eu tenho uma ideia melhor. Vamos mostrar algo novo. Quero compartilhar isso com vocês já há algum tempo. O nome é Three Custard Solo.”
The rest of the band members looked at each other in apparent confusion for a moment before Ferreira suddenly vanished.
Dr. Smith's Personal Log
I’m starting to get pissed off at this.
I’ve been through the data a dozen times. I’ve gone cross-eyed staring at timelines, career trajectories, personality profiles, even blood types. Nothing. No common cultural background, no shared affiliations, no anything. Hell, I even checked moon phases and solar activity during the disappearances — and guess what I found? Nothing.
Chess grandmaster, fighter pilot, Olympic diver, and now a singer. Completely unrelated skill sets, worlds apart in terms of training, social circles, and everything else. The only thing they share is being good at what they do.
What the hell kind of qualification is that anyway? "Be talented and disappear mysteriously when you say some dessert-themed nonsense"?
I know it sounds weird, but this isn't how anomalies work. I've been assigned to dozens of other SCPs, and there is always a pattern or some sort of internal consistency that can be analyzed, but this? This is just… completely random, and I hate it.
Every lead, every avenue of investigation — I just hit another brick wall every time I think I'm getting somewhere. What the hell am I even supposed to contain here? A phrase? Ambition? Talent?
Either way, I’m sick of custard.
Addendum 5: Experiment Log 7828-2.
On November 2nd, 2021, Dr. Anna Smith requested permission to post several messages on multiple forums dedicated to the discussion of paranormal or supernatural matters online in order to crowd-source any possible additional information on SCP-7828. Following consideration, Dr. Smith was granted permission to proceed with this action.
Despite initial unsuccessful attempts at gathering information, this changed on November 5th, 2021, when she made the following thread on the paranormal investigation forum Parawatch.
Keep hearing this phrase, anyone know what it means?
I can’t tell you where I heard this, but I have it from a reputable source that there’s been some weird stuff happening recently. The only common thread is this phrase: “three custard solo”.
Anyone know what this might mean? Sorry I can’t give more info, I’m being watched.
–FabAnna27
I don’t have much info to share, but if it helps, I can at least confirm that this phrase sounds completely ridiculous. Best of luck.
–Georgey097
This is the kind of low-effort shitposting that makes me wonder why I even hang out on these boards anymore. Like, this was cool in 2009 or whatever, but come on. No more of this lolrandom cringe shit, please.
–BlindingChaos6747
Stop what you’re doing. You have no idea what you’re getting involved with. Please – trust me. This is not something you want.
–HRoxburgh
Immediately following this, Smith initiated a private conversation with user “HRoxburgh”, claiming to be an independent journalist researching the anomalous events. The user self-identified as Harold Roxburgh, a visual artist in Exeter, UK. At Smith's encouragement, Roxburgh provided evidence that he had posted the phrase on his personal website in 2020, prior to any known instance of SCP-7828, though he had since deleted it.
After two weeks of conversation, Smith successfully convinced him to meet in person at his home.
<BEGIN EXCERPT>
Smith: The decor is quite striking. These are all yours?
Roxburgh: They are. There’s about twenty years of paintings in here. All striving for the same thing. Please, have a seat.
Smith: They’re all very… biblical.
Roxburgh: [Chuckle] Are they? Artistic commentary so often reveals less about the art than it does the commentator themselves.
[Pause]
Smith: Perhaps we can discuss the phrase? I’ve come a long way.
Roxburgh: Yes, I suppose we should… well, you already know some of it. I’ve made it no secret I’m something of a psychonaut. All my life I’ve been… searching for something. I tried to find it with my paintbrush, but I realized there were better mediums for the message. Psilocybin, lysergic acid, 2C-B, MDA, mescaline. You can see those influences in my art.
Smith: And with all of those drugs, you saw something?
Roxburgh: It was the deepest I’ve ever gone. No journey is ever the same, but even so this one felt completely different. It was as though I’d been knocking on an endless series of doors, and suddenly discovered a window. It’s hard to put this into words, you understand.
Smith: Just try your best.
Roxburgh: It was some new perspective, a new angle, I had never considered. Like a number nobody had seen before. I was standing at a precipice, at some great membrane, an event horizon. A river was pouring past my feet, through this wall, urging me closer and closer. There was a presence beyond it, infinite and warm. It felt like I was at home. I felt accepted. I felt… loved.
Smith: It sounds like you’re describing – I mean, some would say – you’re describing God.
Roxburgh: Words don’t do it justice, certainly not one as charged as that. But in that moment, I knew three things with absolute certainty. First, this was what I’d been searching for my entire life. Second, I knew exactly what I would need to do to cross over that threshold. Third, I knew that if I took that step, I would never return. Everything I was made of, everything that was Harold, would be destroyed.
[Pause]
Smith: So what did you do?
Roxburgh: I panicked. I was terrified. I pulled away, shut myself off. I learned a lot about myself that day. I’d finally found what I’d been looking for, and I was too scared to take it. It turns out I like being me.
Smith: So you–
Roxburgh: I know what you’re going to ask next. And yes, even after I pulled away from it, I could still sense it, still knew where I could find it, but that understanding was fading fast. While I still had that clarity, I felt it was essential that I capture it somehow, some proof of what I’d seen. I tried to put it into words so I could show others… or warn them, I suppose. I went to my easel and scrawled this, in vermilion red… then I posted it on my website, until I thought better of it and pulled it down.
[Roxburgh hands Smith an artboard.]
Smith: “I must perform…”
Roxburgh: “…the three custard solo.” Don’t ask me what it means. But my mouth formed the sounds as easily as if it were my own name. I transcribed them into words as best I could. Everything in this universe, and everything beyond it, is… "three custard solo".
<END EXCERPT>
Dr. Smith's Personal Log
I keep going over what Roxburgh said, and I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve heard something like it before. Not the phrase — that’s still absurd, but the experience he described.
We’ve catalogued hundreds of contact scenarios with extra-dimensional entities, and some of them line up almost perfectly with what he told me.
I requested a cross-reference with anomalous religious experiences. You know, saints, prophets, mystics, and sure enough, you start to see recurring descriptions, some of them eerily similar to his experience — though the phrase “Three Custard Solo” doesn't appear, of course.
What keeps me up at night is the possibility that Roxburgh wasn’t hallucinating. What if he really was at the edge of something real? And what if all this talk of “Three Custard Solo” is just… static? Meaningless nonsense, like a child babbling while standing at the gates of heaven? Or worse: what if we are the ones who can’t understand it? What if “Three Custard Solo” is the correct translation, in whatever language applies to these places? Some idiot’s joke of a phrase as seen through a broken human filter.
I’ve been running another hypothesis in the back of my mind. Maybe it’s not the phrase that’s anomalous. Maybe it’s understanding. Maybe when someone is talented enough, creative enough, obsessed enough, or whatever, they reach the edge of human achievement… and something out there notices.
Maybe that’s the common thread in all of this. Mastery, in anything, brings you to that edge.
And when you get there, when you stand on the edge of everything you are, everything you could be… you have to name it. You have to call it something, and this absurd, idiotic, impossible phrase is what your brain spits out to label it. A placeholder for infinity. “Three Custard Solo".
And I think I'm starting to believe that.
I keep telling myself I won’t try it. I keep saying I won’t let this get under my skin. But I catch myself thinking about it more often now. I’m good at what I do — one of the best, they’ve said, and I’m starting to wonder if that’s why I’m involved in this at all.
Once again, let the record show: I have no intention of performing the Three Custard Solo, whatever that means.
Not yet, at least.
Addendum 6: Incident Report 7828-5.
On December 9, 2021, Dr. Anna Smith failed to show up for work, and did not answer any calls or messages sent to her by Administration. Upon inspection of her living quarters, security personnel found only her clothes scattered on the ground.
Review of the security footage of Site-99 did not show her exiting her assigned dorm at any point. A subsequent investigation revealed that she had logged into her SCiP.Net account the previous night at 22:14 and attempted to submit an edit to SCP-7828's document, with the only addition being:
Oh, so that's how it is.
Further efforts to determine the whereabouts of Dr. Smith are ongoing.
Close.
2/7828 LEVEL 2/7828
CLASSIFIED
Item #: SCP-7828
Neutralized
Phonetic transcription of the phrase.
Special Containment Procedures: As no new disappearances related to SCP-7828 have been reported since December 9, 2021, it has been reclassified as Neutralized, and no containment procedures are necessary.
All victims of SCP-7828 have been administered Class-C amnestics and reintegrated into society, with the exception of Dr. Anna Smith.
Description: SCP-7828 was the designation for a series of sudden and unexplained disappearances affecting individuals of notable proficiency or expertise in disparate and otherwise unrelated professional or creative fields. Individuals affected by SCP-7828 invariably vanished immediately prior to, during, or shortly after either attempting or verbally expressing their intent to attempt an act or procedure referred to as the "Three Custard Solo".
SCP-7828 had been responsible for the spontaneous disappearances of several notable and high-profile individuals across the world and one Foundation researcher, Dr. Anna Smith.
Addendum: Neutralization.
On March 20, 2025, all known individuals who had vanished as a result of SCP-7828 activity reappeared simultaneously at the locations where they had last been seen. Medical examination of the returnees revealed no physical or psychological abnormalities in any of them. However, none of the returned individuals retained any memory of the events following their disappearance, nor of any circumstances that might explain SCP-7828's function or origin. All conducted interviews did not reveal anything of value, and all individuals demonstrated intense frustration or melancholy when pressed for details.
The sole exception to this was Dr. Anna Smith. Upon her reappearance, Dr. Smith was found in a catatonic state, unresponsive to verbal or physical stimuli. Initial neurological scans revealed patterns of brain activity consistent with deep REM sleep despite her conscious presentation.
On April 4, 2025, approximately two weeks after her return, Dr. Smith suddenly regained lucidity during a routine examination, and an interview was conducted immediately after.
Interview Log
Interviewed: Dr. Anna Smith
Interviewer: Dr. Pamela Keller
Date: 04/04/2025
Begin Log.
Dr. Keller: Dr. Smith, can you hear me?
Dr. Smith: I can. I… I’m here. God, I’m here. You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to say that.
Dr. Keller: You’re safe now. Please, take your time. Anything you can tell us about SCP-7828 could help us understand what happened to you, and the others.
Dr. Smith: [rubbing temples] It’s… it’s difficult. I’ve been trying to find the right words, but I don’t think there are any. Not any that make sense at least.
Dr. Keller: Start wherever you need to. Just describe it as best you can.
Dr. Smith: …There was something… something behind it all. An entity. I don’t know if it was alive the way we understand life. It was like… like someone had taken pieces of a dozen different creatures and assembled them wrong. A cat, a bird, lizard legs, too many of them, and pencils. Pencils stuck into the joints, like someone halfway through designing it just gave up.
Dr. Keller: It brought you to itself. Why?
Dr. Smith: It pulled us all in, every one of us, because it… it didn't know either.
Dr. Keller: I’m sorry, didn't know what, exactly?
Dr. Smith: Sorry, I'm… I'm getting ahead of myself. It… whatever it is, has been watching and listening us for a… for a very long time, maybe. It intercepted random radio waves, cooking shows, jazz improvisation competitions, old BBC comedy sketches — you name it, and then it heard the phrase "Three Custard Solo" somewhere along the way. It thought that it was some kind of fundamental truth, like we were all in on something except it.
Dr. Keller: And that’s why it abducted people? To… to ask about that?
Dr. Smith: No, no, it didn't ask us anything. It demanded us to tell it what it was. It tore people out of their lives — people it thought might have the answer. Scientists, musicians, artists, poets, me. It… kept us in its… uh… home? And asked us to tell it something that doesn’t exist. For three years. Three years of not knowing what it wanted, not knowing how to give it something that isn't a thing.
Dr. Keller: Then why did it let you go?
Dr. Smith: I — I lied to it. I told it that the Three Custard Solo was… an interpretative dance involving custard, lots of custard, and then I began improvising the best I could.
Dr. Keller: And it accepted that?
Dr. Smith: It watched for a long time, and then… it made a sound. I don’t know if it was laughter, I don't know if it is even capable of laughing, but it — it worked, it let us go.
Dr. Keller: …That's it?
Dr. Smith: That’s it.
Silence.
Dr. Keller: …Do you have any closing remarks?
Dr. Smith: [remains silent for a few more seconds] I… fucking hate custard.
End Log.