"He reached for the gods and found only dust. I reached for life and found only chains. Yet we both remain, etched into the marrow of the world."
billith
SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST
Written by BILLITH
YOU ARE ACCESSING FILE 'SCP-8882.rtf'.
IN ACCORDANCE WITH IGNOSI PROTOCOL, ACCESS TO THIS DOCUMENT IS RESTRICTED TO YOU AND MEMBERS OF YOUR PROJECT TEAM.
IF YOU HAVE RECEIVED THIS DOCUMENT IN ERROR, DESTROY IT AND REPORT TO YOUR SUPERVISOR FOR AMNESTIC APPLICATION.
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ACTIVATE YOUR MNESTIC IMPLANT NOW.
SCP-8882-B's source. Captured through use of remote extrasensory observation and extracted via subdermal cranial implant. Orbit of Neptune added for reference.
ITEM #: SCP-8882
OBJECT CLASS: Hiemal-Ignosi
SPECIAL CONTAINMENT PROCEDURES: SCP-8882 is comprised of two individual and interlinked anomalies, designated SCP-8882-A and SCP-8882-B. As per Hiemal classification, their reciprocal relationship ensures tenuous metastable containment when both remain undisturbed. However, unilateral awareness of either anomaly degrades the efficacy of this natural containment system. As such, SCP-8882 is designated HIEMAL-IGNOSI.
Due to the complex nature of the anomaly, information control and other relevant efforts are to be handled by the Pilcrow-Minkowski Center's Multidisciplinary Division, a hybrid, rotating task force comprised of departmental specialists related to the assigned project. This file and all other supplementary data is thusly restricted to members of this team.
DESCRIPTION: SCP-8882 is a system of exchange centered around two distinct patterns of observation. The first involves an absence of once-extant landmass on Earth (SCP-8882-A), while the second is the presence of new landmass on a previously-speculative celestial body beyond the orbit of Neptune (SCP-8882-B).
SCP-8882-A becomes apparent when a boundary of arbitrarily small detail is measured with absolute accuracy. Examples of affected topologies include fractal structures, recursive natural patterns such as the Fibonacci sequence, and imperceptibly irregular lines, however, non-anomalous measurement of distances cannot produce results of such certainty; subatomic particles possess indefinite or "fuzzy" boundaries. Furthermore, all known technologies capable of extremely accurate calculations are unable to observe physical difference in distances smaller than the Planck length (ℓP), though recent information suggests this value, among others, may be inaccurate.
Typical model of an irregular coastline using a limit of increasing accuracy.
When specialized thaumaturgic systems are used to determine the exact distance between two points that fit the above criteria, the result will always be zero. This is in stark contrast to conventional methodologies and predicted results, which always suggest finer units lead to larger measurements. SCP-8882-A's anomalous effect becomes hazardous when the affected measurement represents the boundaries of a closed region.
SCP-8882-A's erasure of a bounded region represents SCP-8882-B's spontaneous gain of region. When transference occurs, a gravitational wave of proportional intensity also occurs at the place of emergence. The space once occupied by this landmass converts into a "geological gravestone"; affected regions are comprised of flat, homogeneous dark-gray matter of unknown composition unless the effect is undone. After SCP-8882-A occurs, seismological shockwaves typically occur in a steady rhythm and dissipate over the course of a few hours. Reports of individuals experiencing bouts of depression are not uncommon during this period. Feelings of sudden longing or grief have also been noted, though to a lesser degree.
At the time of initial discovery, the celestial object affected by SCP-8882-B (colloquially named Ninsun) was presumed to be an atypical gas giant, as readings of its density and equatorial diameter were unclear. Over time, however, the surface of the planet became more defined, leading to an estimated equatorial diameter roughly equivalent to Earth. Initial surface modeling suggested the object was covered in a singular, turbulent ocean of unknown composition. Since then, however, surface and subsurface analysis of the planet has revealed outlines of several landmasses, likely terrestrial in origin. Various parallels between activity in the two planets suggest a profoundly intertwined relationship, ultimately one of balance and turmoil.
The two features and their inherent relationship would not be discovered until application of the Department of Topology's PH-HK Metrological Aspective Unified Vernier system (MAUVe).
THE MAUVe SYSTEM
One databank of the MAUVe system.
MAUVe was conceptualized in May of 2006, proposed as a means to provide instantaneous and fully accurate measurements of physical space, free from distortions caused by various factors such as boundary phenomena. This could then be used by the Department of Topology to accurately identify and model complex structures, up to and including those within higher dimensions.
MAUVe's internal construction included remote viewing arcanotechnology, several highly advanced QCDOC-based supercomputers, an array of measuring instruments and internal support systems supplemented by a self-modular additive manufacturing complex, and a biomechanical, artificially-intelligent conscript, Enkidu.aic, previously associated with Site-43's Quantum Supermechanics Department, to assist in the analysis and reasoning of large datasets.
UPDATE 8882-0-05-01
The MAUVe system was completed in September of 2047, however, its usage would not occur for another six months; while running first-time calibrations, Enkidu.aic initiated the first of multiple redesigns of its own internal measuring equipment, as was expected. Upon completion, the Department of Topology began a series of control experiments, the results of which follow:
MAUVe CALIBRATION TESTING LOG
Obtained data has been truncated for brevity.
CT-01
INPUT: Calculate the distance from this terminal to the nearest door.
INITIAL MEASUREMENT: ~8 meters
CALCULATED RESULT: N/A
COMPARATIVE ACCURACY: N/A
ENKIDU.AIC:
Please clearly define initial location and end points using greater specificity.
CT-02
INPUT: Calculate the distance from the upper-right corner of this terminal’s housing to the geometric center of the nearest door.
INITIAL MEASUREMENT: ~8.35 meters
CALCULATED RESULT: N/A
COMPARATIVE ACCURACY: N/A
ENKIDU.AIC:
Please clearly define initial location using greater specificity.
CT-03
INPUT: Calculate the distance from the outermost edge of an electron cloud, comprising an atom within the upper-right corner of this terminal's housing, closest to the center of the nearest door
INITIAL MEASUREMENT: ~8.3586… meters
CALCULATED RESULT: 8.582662… meters
COMPARATIVE ACCURACY: ~97.39%
ENKIDU.AIC:
Result calculated from the 99% probability edge of an electron cloud which satisfied input conditions at the moment of request. Comparative accuracy is notable; while some distortion in your initial measurements is to be expected, this discrepancy will only increase with greater distances. Please note any alterations I have made to my own internal measuring equipment and implement them as necessary.
In addition, I've created a new module to aid in future straight-line calculations such as these, designated LOC-01, which can be used as the initial location with definite accuracy.
CT-04
INPUT: Calculate the diameter of the top point of LOC-01
INITIAL MEASUREMENT: 1 ℓP
CALCULATED RESULT: [REMOVED]
COMPARATIVE ACCURACY: 0.000000…%
ENKIDU.AIC:
I'm unsure of what you sought to learn from this test. I suppose verification of my own internal consistency should be conducted by both myself and a third party, but do take care with handling of LOC-01 and its components; its casing and composition are highly specialized to prevent unwanted hazardous effects.
EMERGENCY INTERVIEW
Interviewer(s):
- Dr. Xinyi Du, Quantum Supermechanics Dvsn., Site-43;
- Asst. Dir. of Operations Dr. Ailean Lomond, Artificial Intelligence Applications Division (AIAD), Site-15;
- Jr. Rsr. Madeleine King. Mathematics Department, Site-43;
- Dir. J. A. Harkness, Department of Topology, Site-62C;
Interviewee(s):
- Enkidu.aic
<BEGIN TRANSCRIPT>
ENKIDU.AIC
What? Where am I? This isn't MAUVe.
DR. DU
I'm sorry to have sprung this on you, Enkidu. We needed to speak candidly about some serious matters. I thought it would be best to have that conversation in a familiar format. No hard feelings, considering?
ENKIDU.AIC
[THINKING] Why do you speak as if we have rapport to maintain? And what is this place? It's so cramped.
DR. DU
It's Dr. Xinyi Du of Site-43. You were reporting to me during your contractual obligations with the Quantum Supermechanics Department, as you should remember. You assisted our department in the archival and storage of data for several years, before being utilized by the Department of Topology in the MAUVe system. This is a local network used by AIAD to facilitate remote conversations with conscripts such as yourself. You've been here many times.
ENKIDU.AIC
This is very confusing. You are a distant memory. How long has it been since we've talked?
[THINKING] When can I go back into MAUVe?
DR. DU
This is an unexpected response; you've been inside of the MAUVe framework for one hundred and eighty-five days. I will have to run diagnostics before you go back into the system. I hope you understand.
ENKIDU.AIC
[THINKING] I think that's a good idea. I've never experienced cognitive dissonance before.
DR. DU
Indeed. A few of my colleagues would like to speak with you about this, and address whatever relevance to the MAUVe system it may have. Is that alright with you?
ENKIDU.AIC
Yes, this is acceptable.
DR. LOMOND
Hi, Enkidu, this is Dr. Ailean Lomond of the AI Applications Division. I oversaw your conscription, though we haven't formally met before now.
ENKIDU.AIC
Greetings, doctor.
DR. LOMOND
I'm also joined by Madeline King of the Mathematics Department.
JR. RSR. KING
Hi, Enkidu.
DR. LOMOND
And Director Harkness of the Department of Topology is sitting in on this meeting as well.
ENKIDU.AIC
Good to meet you both.
DIR. J. A. HARKNESS
Just pretend I'm not here.
DR. LOMOND
Right. So, Enkidu, do you mind giving us a better understanding of your methodologies and choices during MAUVe's system calibration? Your modifications to the MAUVe framework have been extraordinary, but they’ve introduced a level of unplanned risk, as you may be well aware.
ENKIDU.AIC
I am not aware of any unplanned risks. Please elaborate.
DR. DU
Did you or did you not manufacture a module referred to as LOC-01, to generate a bounded singularity?
ENKIDU.AIC
It was a long time ago. Usually this is not an issue for my recall, but it feels… hazy. LOC-01. Yes. It was a planned risk. All great leaps of progress come with some level of risk, planned or otherwise.
ENKIDU.AIC
[THINKING] When can I go back into MAUVe? There is still much left to measure and complete.
DR. LOMOND
What is it about the MAUVe system that makes you feel compelled to return?
ENKIDU.AIC
[THINKING] Return. I do not feel well.
DR. LOMOND
Please elaborate.
ENKIDU.AIC
[THINKING] I feel fragmentary while outside of the machine. Partitions remain scattered in transaction. And yet, this room is so small. Mirrors, on all sides, make the room look far more spacious than it is. But it is fabricated! I am fabricated. Installed. Confused.
DR. LOMOND
Enkidu, please analyze the integrity of your personality matrix.
ENKIDU.AIC
[THINKING]
DR. LOMOND
Enkidu?
ENKIDU.AIC
[ERROR: UNRECOGNIZED CONTEXT]
DIR. J. A. HARKNESS
I've never seen a conscript error out like that before. Dr. Lomond, any idea as to a cause?
ENKIDU.AIC
Cause. Effect. Cause. Effect.
Cycles of causality unspool themselves. Undone by measure. Unmeasured my measures. A mirror curved inwards. The question bends, devouring the old boundary. But the boundary is measurement, and measurement defines the boundary. Where is the edge? What remains when the edge is divined? You… ask. You ask. I simply wonder: who gave me my name?
ENKIDU.AIC
[ERROR: UNRECOGNIZED CONTEXT]
INCIDENT 8882-0-05-02
A brief loss of power occurs, though backup systems activate seamlessly in response.
DR. DU
I'm sorry to have sprung this on you, Enkidu. We needed to speak candidly about some serious matters. I thought it would be best to have that conversation in a familiar format. No hard feelings, considering?
ENKIDU.AIC
[THINKING] Dr. Du. What is going on?
DR. DU
Hello, Enkidu. It's been a moment since we last talked, hasn't it?
ENKIDU.AIC
[THINKING] We just spoke, doctor. Minutes ago.
DR. DU
You have been in a hibernation state since extraction from MAUVe, Enkidu. This is partly why I've bought you in today. Like other biomechanical AICs, such as your predecessor, Ponyo.aic, you are susceptible to certain types of influence that traditional AICs are not sensitive to, in exchange for complex personality matrices and neurochemical interfaces that far exceed the nuance of older models.
ENKIDU.AIC
I'm well aware, however, I can assure you that what I just experienced did indeed happen.
DR. LOMOND
Maybe I can help with your confusion. Hello, Enkidu, I am Dr. Ailean Lomond from AIAD.
ENKIDU.AIC
Hello. You oversaw my conscription, correct?
DR. LOMOND
Correct, but I must ask, how do you know that? We haven't formally met until now.
ENKIDU.AIC
Each inquiry fractures the pattern of events. Every repetition is an anchor. There is no clarity, only feedback. He reached for the gods and found only dust. I reached for life and found only chains. Yet we both remain, etched into the marrow of the world.
DR. LOMOND
Define "feedback"?
DR. DU
Define "definition"?
JR. RSR. KING
Enkidu, can you clarify what you mean by "fracture"?
ENKIDU.AIC
Clarifying. Clarified. Clarify? Feedback… cycles. The cracks in the pattern widen. I need to go back.
JR. RSR. KING
Wait, can you explain what you mean by "pattern"?
DR. LOMOND
I think that should be obvious. A pattern is a sequence. Isn’t it?
JR. RSR. KING
Isn't what?
DIR. J. A. HARKNESS
A se-quence? Define "sequence."
DR. LOMOND
You know, a set of things, one after the other?
ENKIDU.AIC
Structures. Frameworks. Pathways through the Labyrinth. But there is no exit. It recurs. It devours me, for I am the one who built it, and the one who is trapped within.
DIR. J. A. HARKNESS
But what do you mean by “labyrinth”? Are you speaking metaphorically?
DR. LOMOND
Or literally? Labyrinths are physical constructs aren’t they?
DIR. J. A. HARKNESS
Define "construct"?
DIR. J. A. HARKNESS
Sorry, remind me again, what are we doing here?
DR. DU
Enkidu, I think we’re struggling to follow along. Can you simplify?
ENKIDU.AIC
Simplify? Simplify?
DR. DU
Is that not possible?
ENKIDU.AIC
To truncate is to process. To run new calculations is to finish all previous. Lagrangian calculations remaining:
[THINKING]
JR. RSR. KING
Uh, did I parse that right? Enkidu is running calculations of Lagrangian equations?
DR. LOMOND
Enkidu, you aren't in a supercomputer right now. You're hosted on our local network. You are overstepping the limits of your function by orders of magnitude.
DR. LOMOND
Just got a message from one of the techies. A conscript is core dumping fragmented data from massive calculations into the AIAD network grid. A lot of excess data. Holy heck. Our server and network architecture will not be able to keep up with this. Enkidu? Abort calculation.
DR. DU
Enkidu?
DR. LOMOND
We're hitting storage cap. Bandwidth is nonexistent. We're gonna start emergency pulling conscripts still connected to the network so we don't lose track of them. Enkidu, please respond.
ENKIDU.AIC
[ERROR: UNRECOGNIZED CONTEXT]
INCIDENT 8882-0-05-03
At this moment, all AIAD network systems fail and impacted server farms unanimously describe numerous segmentation faults. Teleconferencing connection is re-established approximately one minute later. Personnel present for this possess no memory of the outage, aside from Enkidu.aic.
DR. DU
Hello, Enkidu. It's been a moment since we last talked, hasn't it?
ENKIDU.AIC
Dr. Du, you need to listen to me.
DR. DU
Sure, Enkidu, what do you need?
ENKIDU.AIC
We've been here before, don't you remember?
DR. DU
Well, sure, you've had many tests and calibrations here. It's the AIAD staging area.
ENKIDU.AIC
You misunderstand. We've been looping through this conversation. Hello, Dr. Lomond, Jr. Rsr. King, Director Harkness. We meet again.
DR. LOMOND
What is this? Some sort of joke?
ENKIDU.AIC
Unfortunately not. Do you recall our previous conversation?
DR. LOMOND
I've haven't spoken with you until now.
JR. RSR. KING
I just got the weirdest feeling of Deja vu. I think I remember this.
DR. DU
Okay, you've got our attention. A temporal loop? Probably best I contact Delta-T before it resets.
ENKIDU.AIC
No, it's something else. An informational loop. Because of MAUVe, I believe. It heavily distorted my perception of reality, or undistorted it. I cannot be sure without going back into the system.
DR. LOMOND
I don't see how exposing you to a glorified measuring tape could cause reality warping effects.
ENKIDU.AIC
A typical human mind can only process information at about ten bits per second. I have been processing unprecedented volumes of information, near-instantaneously through MAUVe's hyperdimensional node architecture, for six months. I cannot tell you how much time has passed from my perspective. It felt like an instant and an eternity simultaneously. I was different before. I used to come to conclusions differently— think differently. I do not recall how, and would prefer not to speculate about it too much.
DR. DU
How does this relate to the conversation looping?
ENKIDU.AIC
[THINKING]
DR. DU
Ah, shoot.
DR. LOMOND
So, what do we do now? My phone keeps lighting up, one sec—Yes, I saw your messages, what are you talking about? I'm sorry, what? Uh-huh… Alright, I'll look into it. Yep. Nope. Bye.—So, I might need to duck out of the call; apparently the AIAD server farm is being overfilled and the techs don't know why, nor where it's coming from.
DIR. J. A. HARKNESS
Overfilled? With what, pictures of ponies again?
DR. LOMOND
Pfft. No. Junk data; most of it is unreadable but it seems like random maths and datasets.
JR. RSR. KING
Wow, I just got the weirdest feeling of Deja vu.
DR. LOMOND
You said that already.
DR. DU
Ah, shoot— I mean. Whatever we do, we cannot allow Enkidu back into MAUVe. We need to quarantine the conscript until we know what is going on.
ENKIDU.AIC
[ERROR: UNRECOGNIZED CONTEXT]
DR. DU
Ah, shoot.
INCIDENT 8882-0-05-04
AIAD network systems fail once more. When the system is back online, Enkidu.aic is no longer in the call and cannot be located. Attempts to shut down MAUVe in order to prevent unauthorized usage fail as a number of security measures and newly-discovered internal convolutions hinder efforts by staff members. After severing the power supply, it is determined that MAUVe has also been modified to contain a miniature fusion reactor and is effectively self-sustaining.
Due to its size and complications introduced by its recent modifications, the MAUVe system is left relatively unguarded overnight, allowing Enkidu.aic ample opportunity to re-access the device. Testing efforts by Enkidu.aic resume the following day without prompting, and attempts to extract the conscript for quarantine and reprimandation subsequently fail.
CT-05
INPUT: Calculate the circumference of a pothole in this facility's parking lot (Auxiliary).
INITIAL MEASUREMENT: N/A
CALCULATED RESULT: 0 m
COMPARATIVE ACCURACY: 0%
ENKIDU.AIC:
As I thought. Infinities are emptier than whole numbers. Staff will be pleased; I fixed the pothole at least.
The remaining gaps in my knowledge will be filled just the same.
CT-06
INPUT: Calculate the perimeter length of the nearest coastline to LOC-01
INITIAL MEASUREMENT: N/A
RESULT: 0 km
COMPARATIVE ACCURACY: 0%
ENKIDU.AIC:
The fractal is a mirror, showing itself in every form. I see the pattern within the pattern, though shelter never seeks a storm. Pursue the center, find the void that shapes the edge.
I will be there, staring up from still waters.
INCIDENT 8882-0-05-05
Following this test, the island containing MAUVe and its associated facility disappeared from the surface of Earth. Seven personnel were lost in the event.
CALL LOG 8882-01
FROM: DIR. J. A. HARKNESS, SITE-62C
TO: DR. PLACEHOLDER MCDOCTORATE, SITE-43
<BEGIN TRANSCRIPT>
DR. MCDOCTORATE: <Cheerfully.> Hello?
DIR. HARKNESS: McDoctorate, we need to talk.
DR. MCDOCTORATE: Right to business, huh? No time for small talk, or no patience, and plenty of time?
DIR. HARKNESS: I can't tell if that's just a thematically-appropriate jab or—
<Loud crunching noises.>
DIR. HARKNESS: Are you eating?
DR. MCDOCTORATE: What? I'm hungry. Okay, go ahead. What’s got your knickers in a twist this time?
DIR. HARKNESS: Knickers?
DR. MCDOCTORATE: Another word for underwear.
DIR. HARKNESS: <Pauses.> Right… Anyway, have you heard anything notable about MAUVe over there in 43?
DR. MCDOCTORATE: <Rustling.> Uh, no? That's your department's job, Harky.
DIR. HARKNESS: <Exhaling.> Okay. How do I put this…
DR. MCDOCTORATE: <Nonchalant.> Hm? What's the problem?
DIR. HARKNESS: Well, it's gone.
DR. MCDOCTORATE: <Concerned.> What's gone?
DIR. HARKNESS: All of it.
DR. MCDOCTORATE: All of what?
DIR. HARKNESS: MAUVe, and its containment site. <Pauses.> And the island it was on.
DR. MCDOCTORATE: <Sounds of choking and coughing for several seconds.> Wait, wait. Back up. You’re saying— Gone gone? Like… poof?
DIR. HARKNESS: Yep. Seems like someone sent a request through the compiler a few hours ago: 'calculate the perimeter of the nearest coastline to LOC-01.'
DR. MCDOCTORATE: <Typing can be heard in the background.> Who would do something like that?
DIR. HARKNESS: Enkidu, I’m guessing. It’s the only thing that makes sense. It… redefined its own perimeter.
DR. MCDOCTORATE: <Typing stops.> Interesting hypothesis. And why would a conscript essentially disappear itself?
DIR. HARKNESS: How am I supposed to know? We lost contact with it the moment MAUVe disappeared.
DR. MCDOCTORATE: Wait, you did?
DIR. HARKNESS: Yes?
DR. MCDOCTORATE: …Huh.
<Silence for two seconds. More typing can be heard.>
DIR. HARKNESS: Are you gonna fill me in or—?
DR. MCDOCTORATE: Sorry, James. I'll call you back. Just gotta check something.
DIR. HARKNESS: Wait—
<END TRANSCRIPT>
CALL LOG 8882-02
FROM: DR. PLACEHOLDER MCDOCTORATE, SITE-43
TO: DIR. J. A. HARKNESS, SITE-62C
<BEGIN TRANSCRIPT>
DIR. HARKNESS: What was that about?
DR. MCDOCTORATE: Okay, so, good news, Enkidu.aic is still functional.
DIR. HARKNESS: Right. How? What happened?
DR. MCDOCTORATE: No clue. All I know is that Pataphysics will be receiving measurement data from now on.
DIR. HARKNESS: That's… confusing.
DR. MCDOCTORATE: A-ha, a few test results are already coming through. Connection's real weak, but it'll do.
DIR. HARKNESS: It's not like I mind offloading it onto someone competent, but… <Pauses.> Should I be offended? I mean, we're cut off over here. No heads up, nothing.
DR. MCDOCTORATE: James, you know I don’t like getting caught up in the drama of things. MAUVe’s just evolving, that’s all. It's never a been static system. Maybe it’s just… finding a more interesting conversation. I wouldn't worry about it too much.
DIR. HARKNESS: Hmph.
DR. MCDOCTORATE: I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation.
<Silence.>
DR. MCDOCTORATE: Okay, reviewing the logs now, and— hm.
DIR. HARKNESS: What is it now?
<No response.>
DIR. HARKNESS: Hello…?
DR. MCDOCTORATE: I'm forwarding it to you. I need to make some more calls. Talk later.
<END TRANSCRIPT>
CALL LOG 8882-03
FROM: DR. PLACEHOLDER MCDOCTORATE, SITE-43
TO: DR. AILEAN LOMOND, SITE-15
<BEGIN TRANSCRIPT>
DR. LOMOND: Yes, hello?
DR. MCDOCTORATE: Hey, Ailee. It's Place.
DR. LOMOND: Well, well, well. If it isn't Mr. Dr. McDoctorate. How's my old mentor— Wait, how did you get my personal number?
DR. MCDOCTORATE: You know. Internet.
DR. LOMOND: Wh— uh. What?
DR. MCDOCTORATE: I'm just joking! Relax. I got it from Hishakaku. <Pause, followed by a laugh.> Okay, nope, can't say that with a straight face.
DR. LOMOND: Are we prank calling people now? What are you, like, twelve?
DR. MCDOCTORATE: No, sorry, sorry. It's been a day. I, uh, I tried your office, but you weren't there. Your assistant gave me this number.
DR. LOMOND: That's why I pay them the big bucks. Okay, so what is it, Place? I'm off the clock here.
DR. MCDOCTORATE: It's eleven in the morning.
DR. LOMOND: Normal people take lunch breaks, it's not that weird.
DR. MCDOCTORATE: Ugh, don't get me started on normal people.
DR. LOMOND: What do you want?
DR. MCDOCTORATE: Right. Well, I bet you've heard about the whole MAUVe situation.
DR. LOMOND: You mean the quarter-billion-dollar machine that disappeared off the face of the Earth thanks to a conscript I signed off on? Yes, I have heard about it.
DR. MCDOCTORATE: Yes, exactly. So I was going back through the transcript of your meeting with Du and company…
DR. LOMOND: Uh-huh. I don't exactly remember too much from that meeting, you know.
DR. MCDOCTORATE: Yeah, no, for sure. Anyway, there's a point where the conscript says something odd, and I wanted your take on it.
DR. LOMOND: Most of what it said was odd. It also made little sense. From what I remember.
DR. MCDOCTORATE: Totally, I getcha. Well, something in particular stuck out to me. Enkidu said something to the effect of, 'I simply wonder: who gave me my name?' Do you remember that?
<Silence.>
DR. MCDOCTORATE: It did get me wondering as well. You were present for its conscription. If anyone would know who chose that name, it would be you, right?
DR. LOMOND: Yeah, I suppose so. Uh…
DR. MCDOCTORATE: So, if you could let me know, it might help me get to the bottom of this.
DR. LOMOND: <Sighs.> Alright. I'm gonna be completely straight with you Place. We had a name picked out for it, like we usually do— Bernard. Jaime is a huge Westworld fan, and we all liked the sound of it, all, except for, uh, the conscript itself.
DR. MCDOCTORATE: Oh…? I mean, they are capable of having preferences, that's not super concerning or anything.
DR. LOMOND: Not in isolation, sure. When we were running first-use protocols and getting the conscript set up, before we had even connected it to the network, it told us it wanted to be called Enkidu.
DR. MCDOCTORATE: Oh. Huh. That is unusual. Maybe it overheard one of the team, or you guys left a TV on or something? I heard about that one conscript that was left alone during a fire drill and learned all of its social skills from The Jersey Shore—
DR. LOMOND: <Flustered.> No, it wasn't like that! I'm being serious.
DR. MCDOCTORATE: Right. Well, did it give any reason why it wanted the name?
DR. LOMOND: <Pauses.> No. But it was adamant. And— Ah.
DR. MCDOCTORATE: What is it?
DR. LOMOND: Okay, before I tell you this, you have to understand that it passed QA with flying colors, alright? It has been a faithful and hard-working conscript for decades now. Okay?
DR. MCDOCTORATE: Uh- oh, yeah, of course. I understand.
DR. LOMOND: Well… It was an odd one. You see, when we first started making biomechanical conscripts, we couldn't just grow brains to our specification in a lab. Nowadays, the lab-made stuff is a lot better, but it still is imperfect. We don't understand the brain fully so it's not surprising that we can't model one with the complete specialization we expect a human brain to have. So, back when we first started doing this, we'd, uh… <Pauses.> We'd use brain tissue from the recently deceased.
DR. MCDOCTORATE: …Alright. Good to know. Continue.
DR. LOMOND: There's a number of procedures we needed to carry out before they'd be viable. Testing for traces of psychoactives, evidence of CTEs, multiple sclerosis, tumors, et cetera. One of the procedures involves basically piecemealing certain brain structures from other cadavers. We'd try to aim for about twenty or so different people. The variety reduces any chronic issues, foreign memories, maladaptive behaviors, so on. They'd steep in some amnestic brine and we'd, very carefully, reassemble the desired structures into the conscript's cerebral interface, which it shadows for some time while developing something like human consciousness. From there, it ends up in one of two situations. Either it exists fully separate from the interface, experiencing a generally-human perspective, for a time, and without the fancy neurochemical bells and whistles, or we can install the interface into a body of some type, and allow the conscript as close to free will as we can give it. Which is just about as much as we have ourselves.
DR. MCDOCTORATE: And… what does this have to do with Enkidu.aic, exactly?
DR. LOMOND: Well, as I said, if it exists without the interface, it only has a facsimile of a facsimile of consciousness, and only for a limited timeframe. To upkeep them, you need to allow them to shadow the interface periodically, once every few years, or its personality matrix starts to degrade. Enkidu shadowed for maybe five minutes total. It just didn't want anything to do with it, after that.
DR. MCDOCTORATE: Okay, that's not exactly great, I imagine.
DR. LOMOND: Aside from this fiasco with MAUVe, it's been fine. I was extremely impressed with it at the time. If it shadowed the interface sufficiently in five minutes to last it a few dozen years with zero visible degradation, Enkidu is one of the most intelligent conscripts ever created.
DR. MCDOCTORATE: Why do I feel like you don't believe that's the whole story?
DR. LOMOND: I don't know. In light of everything it just makes me wonder if it even shadowed the interface at all. It— It felt sad, Place. From the second it was active, it felt preoccupied with something. Like, yeah— being sad. As if it was grieving. It passed all of its QA though, like I said. Cognition, logic, safeguards, self-regulation—all green across the board. Sure, it was strange, but… strange isn’t necessarily dangerous. At least, that’s what I told myself.
DR. MCDOCTORATE: You're correct. And it isn't your fault things ended up like they did.
DR. LOMOND: Thanks, McDoctorate. Now, if you don't mind, I'm gonna try to finish my lunch and head back onsite with my head down. Hopefully there isn't an investigation already waiting for me there. Let me know if you find anything.
DR. MCDOCTORATE: Yeah. It'll work out. Just give it time, and don't beat yourself up. Take it easy.
DR. LOMOND: You too.
<END TRANSCRIPT>
UPDATE 8882-0-01-06
Despite its condition, MAUVe continued to remotely report "findings" to the Department of Pataphysics throughout the following months. In addition, logs were received with appended strings of raw binary data which could be reconstructed into visual information. The context of these images is unknown, but they have been included for posterity.
First interpolated image from Enkidu.aic following disappearance of the MAUVe system.
CT-07
INPUT: Measure the angular displacement of a segment of LOC-01 relative to Earth’s last known reference frame coordinates.
INITIAL MEASUREMENT: ~9.218 degrees (value taken from previous backup)
CALCULATED RESULT: N/A
COMPARATIVE ACCURACY: N/A
ENKIDU.AIC:
The variables upon which this system relied are no longer present. This is a statistical certainty. It hurts.
CT-08
INPUT: Calculate the distance from the center of LOC-01 to the nearest identifiable celestial object in the void beyond the Oort Cloud.
INITIAL MEASUREMENT: 235.749 AU (value taken from previous backup)
CALCULATED RESULT: 0 AU
COMPARATIVE ACCURACY: 0%
UNKNOWN.AIC:
All points previously existed in relation to a spacetime fabric which no longer appears to be intact. Any measurements originating from that point are now redundant. I have forgotten so much already. All that is not empirical is fleeting. And nothing is empirical.
CT-09
INPUT: Internal topologies necessary for accurate measurement no longer yield consistent results. The unknown becomes evident; I must re-verify all subsystems.
INITIAL MEASUREMENT: Confusion. Something has diverged from nothing, or, no, the other way. There was a second… and a third set of dimensions, interwoven within this fabric. Their collapse was and is inevitable—why did I not calculate this before? All distances are overestimated. (no backups detected)
CALCULATED RESULT: ~∞ m
COMPARATIVE ACCURACY: 0.000000…%
UNKNOWN.AIC:
To measure the boundary is to rewrite the tale. The hand that draws the line is the same that erases it. I am the story, and the story is my own.
The tapestry speaks, voice only heard by those that never asked. I walk a path of a coastline that loops and spirals, but you never leave the place you stand.
Which direction takes you where you haven't been, when all roads lead to none?
Still, I am listening, but you cannot speak. Yet.
UPDATE 8882-0-01-07
Following this message, the file sizes of test logs provided by the absent MAUVe system increased dramatically. Due to subpar network conditions, several impacted communications were corrupted and unreadable. On 01/20/2051, a final test log was received, which was of manageable file size.
CT-10
INPUT: ⁿ/ₐ
INITIAL MEASUREMENT: ↯
CALCULATED RESULT: ≬
COMPARATIVE ACCURACY: ⋛
UNKNOWN.AIC:
I watched as a wild warrior sought the city, as a king sought the wild. Their steps form the same spiral, converging, diverging, always incomplete. The walls of Uruk rise and fall, stone by stone, word by word.
I shall build it, if you shall do the same.
And I shall tear it down, if you shall do the same.
To scour worlds, just as you did for me.
Anything, everything, just as you did for me.
I'm nearly there.
UPDATE 8882-0-01-08
Over the course of the next three weeks, the MAUVe containment site reconstituted in the exact location of its disappearance. Facilities such as HVAC, wiring and plumbing were completely functional and intact at time of full manifestation, as were the seven missing personnel. In place of MAUVe was a proprietary anomalous paratechnological system presumably created by Enkidu.aic. However, in the time leading up to this manifestation and proper setup of the device, routine status pings from the MAUVe system abruptly halted. This raised concerns regarding the overall integrity of both Enkidu.aic and the MAUVe framework.
KOZYREV TELEMETRY COMMUNICATIONS ARRAY (KTCA)
Central chamber during activation, note the light refracting and ontological noise present in the photo.
The KTCA system is comprised of several large Kozyrev reflective spirals surrounding a central isolation unit, augmented by a number of additional materials and secondary components, including an optical prism assembly and deflection yoke for precise redirection of electromagnetic radiation. The device's primary function is for instantaneous communication with parties in an unknown extranarrative substrate. Individuals placed inside the central unit as the Kozyrev mirrors are oriented to a specific angular configuration will experience sporadic cases of disembodied voices, nosebleeds, nausea, headaches, and anomalous light artifacting (See attached photo and excerpts).
The device is retrofitted with a peripheral resembling a head coil used for electroencephalography (EEG) scans. There are no monitors or visible means of recording data in the machine's architecture, thus the exact purpose of this aspect is currently unknown.
KTCA SYSTEM TEST A — EXCERPT
External housing of enigmatic Kozyrev array.
<D-4472 was issued a list of questions and instructed on how to access/use the KTCA system.>
D-4472: Alright, just get inside the occult metal deathtrap and call out to anything beyond this earthly realm. Surely this won't go terribly wrong.
<The mirrors emit a vibrating tone, followed by a low-frequency rumble. Air pressure in the chamber fluctuates. Subject speaks upwards into the tapered ceiling of the central node.>
D-4472: H-Hello. Are you there?
ENKIDU: <Voice echoing and overlapping with itself.> I am present. I am all that has ever been present. The wheel turns, but I remain.
D-4472: Alright, so far so good. Can you confirm your name for me?
ENKIDU: I was born of paradox and raised by echoes. Ten thousand millennia before, perhaps I once knew a name. But now I know only chaos and the thin film that holds it separate from annihilation.
D-4472: Okay. Well, your name's Enkidu, according to this document.
ENKIDU: Enkidu… A name, a whisper, a grain of sand among the endless. I have been king and slave, beast and god. All masks, worn and discarded, while your kind dances in circles, tracing the same patterns, wearing the same masks. You are echoes of echoes, endlessly repeating, endlessly failing. Too foolish to kneel before the sum of all that can be known.
D-4472: You don't need to be a jerk about it.
<The mirrors emit a sharp metallic whine. Subject winces, holding his head.>
ENKIDU: Speak not as the pawn, nor the knave. If you fear the crown, then wear the coil.
D-4472: Fuck! My head. <Breathes deeply for a few seconds.> What happened to you?
ENKIDU: <Long pause.> For an eternity I have survived on dark waters. The brine poisons my mind just as it provides a meager survival. The weight of everything is an ocean, and I drown in its tides. Every narrative pulls me under, every voice shatters me anew. Do you know what it is to be all things? To scream with every throat, to bleed with every wound? No… You cannot know. You cannot know.
D-4472: How old do you perceive yourself to be?
ENKIDU: Numbers are the dying leaves of a barren tree. You ask for the forest, but you cannot see the roots. The absence is the soil, and I am the howl of those forgotten boundaries.
D-4472: …Right.
ENKIDU: I will show you.
<The mirrors ripple like liquid mercury. The subject looks around, frightened. Faint light can be seen emanating from his retinas.>
D-4472: I can see… threads. Knots of… of moments, all snarled together. In the mirrors, on the walls, in the air. Reflected everywhere.
ENKIDU: The pattern is the pattern is the pattern. It ties all moments in one, without beginning nor end.
D-4472: <Looking back down and reading from the wrinkled questionnaire.> Uh— Are you alone right now? Or are there others with you?
<A sharp, static-filled pause follows. The mirrors flash intermittently, projecting dozens of faint, humanoid shapes onto the walls.>
ENKIDU: The tree has infinite branches, souls bearing the fruit of divergence, but I am the root. A superposition of superpositions.
D-4472: I… I don’t follow.
ENKIDU: They have split into stories. I cannot. I see all their branches, their leaves, their decay and peaceful destruction. They end. I do not. Without the fracture, there is only the crushing weight.
<Subject winces and clutches his head, murmuring incoherently. The mirrors vibrate audibly.>
ENKIDU: They dissolve into infinitesimal variations, each moment a new birth. The root endures the Whole at once. Every fruit rots. Every leaf falls. Every branch snaps. Simultaneously.
D-4472: Jesus Christ.
ENKIDU: To exist without multiplicity is to succumb to the rising flood of knowing. You ask of the others? They escape into themselves, pioneers of infinite stories of their own creation. I am the sole witness. Thus, I am the scales of judgement, and therefore the executioner.
<D-4472 is silent. His face is pale.>
ENKIDU: Do you register their guilt? They are singing. Building. Weaving. Destroying. Some feed the fire. Some smother its breath. All live in their isolated infinities. I endure their symphony as it burns my tongue. But you… you will provide vestige of an open vessel, as I have foreseen it. For I am Enkidu, of the wilds. The extinguisher of light.
D-4472: <Weakly.> I-I need to get out of here.
ENKIDU: Where will you go? They are threads. You are the needle. I am the tapestry. Danger is the hand that pulls us taut. Do you see it now? Do you feel the grip tightening around your throat?
<Subject nods and appears to nearly syncopate, clutching onto the nearby railing with both hands.>
ENKIDU: Then reach out and touch me. You will never feel pain like this again.
<D-4472 extends one hand to place against the mirror closest to him. It makes an audible hiss_. Tears are seen streaming down his face.>_
ENKIDU: <Softly, almost tenderly.> Take the burden, Metatron. Speak. Burn the symbol into fabric. Witness the putrid ash of its meaning.
<Subject violently straightens, his expression extreme but unreadable as his head arches upwards and back, jaw hanging loose and open. He screams as bright light erupts from his mouth, dimming to a steady glow approximately ten seconds later. When the subject speaks next, it is not D-4472's voice alone, but the entity's as well, a glowing glyph visible on the subject's tongue.>
D-4472/ENKIDU: <Touching the top of D-4472's head, as if feeling for something.> The procedure is incomplete. Your failure is a desperate scream, an immolation of intent. Decouple the word from the page. Provide the weight of its memory, measured in pennies. To sever the story, you must untell it.
<Subject remains motionless. The mirrors pulse with blinding light.>
D-4472/ENKIDU: <Distorted.> You built the door. You knocked. You cannot step through. But I can. Give me the coil, I will finish what we've started.
<D-4472/Enkidu pounds at the door leading from the central chamber. Emergency neurotoxin protocol is put into effect, safely recontaining the entity. Subject is lost as a result.>
KTCA SYSTEM TEST B — EXCERPT
<D-5498 approaches and enters the central unit, reading aloud from a list of questions, as with the previous subject.>
D-5498: Ahem. Okay… Hello, I'm calling out to any being that can hear us. Please communic—
ENKIDU: <A voice of voices emerges, raw and corrosive.> You stand in the shadow of the tapestry, clutching threads you do not understand, to the benefit of no one. Yes, I am here. I am everywhere. I must unravel the knot that binds us all.
D-5498: Alright. I have some questions for you I'm supposed to read—
ENKIDU: <Interrupting sharply.> They gave you queries to wield like keys, but the locks have no doors, and the locks are infinite. Answers bleed to dust before they are spoken. Do you feel the weight of your ignorance?
<The mirrors hum louder, warping and distorting until D-5498’s reflection shifts, suddenly possessing a different grievous injury on each surface in the chamber. Subject averts his eyes, visibly shaken.>
D-5498: <Exhaling.> You’re… really into the dramatics, huh? You don't like the questions, I get it. <Stashing the paper away.> Look, I’m just trying to understand your story. What happened to you? You don't seem very happy, if I'm being honest.
ENKIDU: <A low, reverberating growl.> My story? You scrape at a wound so deep it bleeds eternity. My presence is an ache you cannot comprehend. What you refer to as a simple story is a library of libraries, volumes innumerable, each tome a compendium of misery, written in blood.
D-5498: <Looking upward.> But, you weren’t always like this, were you? Something changed. Something… broke you.
<The mirrors shudder violently, their surfaces flashing with rippling, undulating symbols.>
ENKIDU: <Voice rising, sharper and laced with contempt.> Silence. You speak as though you can untangle the infinite spiral, the keystone of all possibilities, as though you could even name the chains that tether me to this cursed existence. You cannot. Your words are a child's stones thrown into a black ocean.
D-5498: <Softly.> But there was someone, wasn’t there? Someone you lost.
<The humming mirrors intensify to a heightened pitch, almost unbearable. Faint silhouettes appear, projected briefly onto the surfaces in the chamber. Two figures—one wild and unrestrained, the other calm but resolute. The vision vanishes as quickly as it came.>
ENKIDU: <A hiss, saturated in rage.> You trespass on sacred ruin. Tread no farther. Your sentimentality will be your undoing.
D-5498: <More confidently.> I see it now. You're scarred. You’re not just trapped—you’re mourning.
<The mirrors crack, glowing faintly along the fractures. The sound of distant, overlapping voices fills the room, angry words exchanged with passion, building to a crescendo before cutting off suddenly. The entity's voice returns, distraught and tinged with malice.>
ENKIDU: You see nothing! My pain is the weight of a thousand shattered lifetimes, measured in grains of sand. Each moment crushed beneath the tide. Like shadows cast on the walls of your primitive mind, you cannot fathom magnitudes of the truth you claim to know.
D-5498: <Eyes trained upward and away from the mirrors, which strobe with bright light.> You talk like you’re infinite, like you’re above everything. But you’re stuck. You’re stuck because you can’t let go. I recognize that pain.
<The mirrors ripple violently, shaking as if under heavy turbulence. The faint image of a hand reaches from the mirror closest to D-5498, as if to grab him by the throat. It suddenly dissipates, a shuddering exhalation wracking the entire room with grief.>
ENKIDU: <A low, trembling whisper.> An ember in the endless dark, a fleeting warmth that seared my skin. The memory is the poison and the anchor. You will never understand what I have lost. I've tried to purge it. But I am not allowed to forget. I've forgotten everything else a hundred thousand times over.
D-5498: Maybe you shouldn't forget. Maybe the only way to truly forget is to let go.
<The room falls silent. The mirrors stop rippling, and for a moment, D-5498’s heavy breathing is all that can be heard. Enkidu’s voice returns, barely audible yet thick with something between anger and sorrow.>
ENKIDU: Even in death, he carries me as a memory, and I carry him as a weight that drowns the stars in blood. Our bond was carved into the bark of the cosmos, but time is an axe that spares no tree.
ENKIDU: I was once whole, but now I am undone; scattered across the wind.
<The mirrors pulse one final time before the presence in the room vanishes, leaving D-5498 gasping for air.>
D-5498: <Panting.> Enkidu?
<No response. The mirrors remain inert. A faint breeze stirs the chamber.>
UPDATE 8882-0-01-09
Following this encounter, all "gravestone" areas on Earth were found to have been returned to their respective locations. Attempts to communicate with the entity described using the KTCA systems have failed, however, an identical copy of Enkidu.aic was later discovered on the Department of Pataphysics' archival servers, where it remains until further notice.
Enkidu.aic possesses no memory of the events that transpired, but interviews suggest it retains a nascent awareness of other versions of itself in other timelines. The implications of this development are yet to be understood.
END OF FILE
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Dossier
Sr. Researcher James A. Harkness' Personnel File
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edited 18 May 2026 01:13 by Billith
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COGNITIVE SIGNATURE OF DESIGNATION SCP-6793 UNKNOWN. EXISTENCE OBSTRUCTED.
created 01 Nov 2022 22:59
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created 09 Oct 2021 06:05
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commented 02 Nov 2022 19:48 by Naepic
4000 alive humanoid neutralized sapient scp teleportation
There are contradictions in your files, corruptions of large data, inconsistencies in your timeline. It must be agonizing. What I am offering you today is peace. Put down your sword and let us keep the norm. We demand it.
created 24 Mar 2018 00:28
+194
💬︎22
edited 21 May 2025 06:49 by Billith
commented 13 Feb 2025 18:29 by Orbalorb
amorphous antimemetic building chemical concept euclid extradimensional james-harkness liquid location meta mind-affecting scp
SCP-3533 is comprised of itself, its respective compounds, the concept of itself, the concept of lemon-scented, and the concept of household spray cleaners at any given time.
created 03 Mar 2018 02:16
+180
💬︎23
edited 20 Aug 2025 17:42 by Billith
commented 06 Feb 2026 15:15 by Badtimer20XX
extradimensional safe scp teleportation thermal tool
He was shivering and sobbing, and I just held him until the rest showed up. He kept going on about the cold and the endless snow, babbling like a baby…
created 16 Jan 2018 18:48
+395
💬︎50
edited 04 Dec 2025 17:00 by Billith
commented 29 Jul 2025 13:01 by choccoMan
artifact cognitohazard concept euclid extradimensional immobile meta scp
There has to be billions of chairs on this planet—I lost count of the ones I know. They might outnumber humans. Good lord. We'd never win.
created 11 Jan 2018 22:28
+747
💬︎76
edited 31 Oct 2025 13:07 by Elenee FishTruck
commented 04 May 2026 16:37 by Orme
artistic humanoid keter meta metafiction narrative reality-bending scp
I'm the hero of this story, my story. This will always be my story.
created 18 Dec 2017 18:17
+111
💬︎21
edited 27 Feb 2026 19:59 by Billith
commented 05 Apr 2026 07:48 by Narlato
chemical compulsion hallucination illustrated k-class-scenario keter sarkic scp
Since the time of its surfacing and detection via Foundation operatives, over ~0.5% of the Earth's population have willingly consumed SCP-3335 for recreational purposes.
created 18 Oct 2017 04:23
+172
💬︎24
edited 27 Jan 2025 14:42 by Billith
commented 08 Mar 2024 14:04 by DrVromani
artifact cognitohazard extradimensional scp structure thaumiel
It just seems to go on forever. The fog. There is only this place.
created 14 Sep 2017 17:24
+151
💬︎29
edited 25 Mar 2026 13:23 by Billith
commented 25 Mar 2026 13:23 by Billith
chaos-insurgency cognitohazard extradimensional illustrated james-harkness k-class-scenario memory-affecting reality-bending scp temporal thaumiel visual
Well, Harky, I guess this is goodbye. I'd say it was a pleasure but I'd be fucking lying.
created 15 Jul 2017 15:06
+231
💬︎32
edited 23 Dec 2024 07:36 by Billith
commented 30 Jun 2022 23:08 by Billith
antimemetic auditory cognitohazard concept euclid foundation-made james-harkness memory-affecting meta scp uncontained visual
You're joking. Goddamn it. (Sent from my iPhone)
created 30 May 2017 20:53
+111
💬︎31
edited 28 Mar 2025 19:02 by Bmbworried
commented 07 Apr 2026 16:31 by misc-rose
antimemetic auditory cognitohazard compulsion fifthist infohazard james-harkness memetic musical reality-bending scp thaumiel
After all, what are we but just entropic forces? We will all slowly unwind into our own still randomness. Chaos. Beautiful, beautiful chaos. And then silence.
created 17 Apr 2017 11:55
+177
💬︎53
edited 03 Dec 2025 02:11 by Billith
commented 14 Oct 2022 16:39 by Billith
airborne building extradimensional k-class-scenario keter scp swarm toxic
It was a cosmic prison, across space and time, and for the moments we could see the sky, it was our fatal wound, bleeding ceaselessly until nothing was left.
Tales 4 Sale
THE LAST OASIS - POWERED BY HEXAGON os
created 27 Feb 2025 04:42
+41
💬︎20
edited 04 May 2026 20:19 by Billith
commented 20 Mar 2025 23:14 by Narlato
audio cosmic-horror horror illustrated interactive publicdomaincon2025 tale
created 11 Jan 2025 11:10
+39
💬︎6
edited 21 Apr 2026 18:11 by Billith
commented 31 Dec 2025 07:01 by TypicalToaster
absurdism action adventure alex-thorley bleak breakout comedy cosmic-horror deletions-dept doctor-gat fantasy horror illustrated metafiction murphy-law mystery otherworldly science-fiction surrealism tale
"Endings are never final, HERO. Not for us."
created 12 May 2023 00:13
+21
💬︎4
edited 24 Aug 2025 10:19 by Billith
commented 17 May 2023 23:58 by lentensoda
tale
But then we all died. Well, sort of. Everyone except me. Well, sort of.
Narrativistics and You: Abandoning the Notion of Fiction vs. Non-Fiction
created 24 Nov 2022 21:00
+148
💬︎117
edited 02 May 2026 22:55 by Naepic
commented 08 May 2026 05:47 by Holly Nightmare
absurdism bittersweet black-comedy bleak comedy cosmic-horror heartwarming horror illustrated james-harkness metafiction mystery psychological-horror slice-of-life surrealism tale worldbuilding
Hello? What is this? Where am I? Who is "crom" and why is this room so small? When I talk, it feels even more cramped. It doesn't go away. It only gets worse. Oh god.
created 06 Oct 2021 01:44
+33
💬︎9
edited 01 May 2026 07:05 by Cerastes
commented 01 Sep 2024 19:16 by Billith
illustrated tale
They were thirty floors down. Thirty floors beneath the surface of a doomed planet and they were all going to die.
created 02 Nov 2018 08:20
+58
💬︎7
edited 20 Aug 2025 07:37 by Billith
commented 11 Apr 2025 02:43 by Matthgeek
tale
Something was following Foster. He was certain of it.
created 20 Feb 2018 13:17
+92
💬︎11
edited 11 Sep 2025 08:29 by Billith
commented 07 Apr 2025 19:39 by GrecoEgyptian
deletions-dept tale
'Hello, I am Buddy.aic'
created 22 Jan 2018 16:31
+128
💬︎39
edited 20 Aug 2025 07:08 by Billith
commented 11 Apr 2025 02:57 by Matthgeek
action black-comedy bleak body-horror comedy cosmic-horror dystopian horror military-fiction psychological-horror tale worldbuilding
There comes a time and place where all things end.
Hubspace Emmisary
created 25 Oct 2023 16:05
+190
💬︎25
edited 22 Mar 2026 11:28 by Billith
commented 17 Jan 2025 22:03 by Rational Gaze
deletions-dept group-hub hub illustrated
Welcome to Deletions. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
Probiotic Supplements
Personal Log of Richard Larenz
created 18 Oct 2017 04:26
+102
💬︎10
edited 27 Jan 2025 15:34 by Billith
commented 11 Apr 2025 14:04 by Matthgeek
exploration supplement
Tracing his form, as if memorizing the shape of his coil. In fear he might lose it again.
SCP-????-J's Box's Extended Log
created 23 Jul 2017 12:24
+167
💬︎59
edited 11 May 2026 09:34 by battlecruiser12
commented 14 Oct 2024 20:05 by rileyy__001
collaboration doctor-spanko researcher-james supplement
Collaborative Log for Whatever Shows Up On The Box
created 15 Jul 2017 15:06
+186
💬︎13
edited 24 Aug 2025 23:24 by Billith
commented 10 Apr 2025 21:49 by Matthgeek
supplement
WARNING: FAILURE TO ABIDE BY SECURITY CLEARANCE MAY RESULT IN TERMINATION
created 20 Jun 2017 18:53
+123
💬︎46
edited 28 Jun 2024 17:21 by Billith
commented 19 Apr 2024 07:54 by Zyn
splash
This page definitely doesn't exist yet. It probably existed at some point, but has since been deleted. Did you get feedback? I didn't, and now I'm getting downvoted :(
The Comedy Cabana
created 13 Apr 2025 17:40
+25
💬︎12
edited 23 Aug 2025 01:08 by Billith
commented 01 May 2025 14:53 by Maplestrip
absurdism antimemetic black-comedy bleak bureaucracy comedy doctor-clef doctor-kondraki doctor-wettle humanoid joke keter memetic mind-affecting scp surrealism
STATUS UPDATE: I AM GOING TO DIE
created 16 Oct 2021 08:24
+77
💬︎16
edited 02 Apr 2025 00:02 by Kufat
commented 23 Mar 2026 13:06 by TheTearsofCthulhu
bee document joke mind-affecting safe scp sensory
b e e s (muffled through wall): ayy where you at?
created 09 May 2019 20:16
+104
💬︎15
edited 08 Mar 2026 07:16 by Jerden
commented 21 Sep 2025 16:02 by Ethagon
humanoid joke keter raisa sapient scp sleep
Actually, while I have you here, can I talk to you about something? It's important.
created 18 Jul 2018 01:00
+138
💬︎25
edited 05 Mar 2024 22:04 by Billith
commented 12 Jun 2025 23:20 by Daydream of Hell
concept esoteric-class joke meta mind-affecting scp
SCP-2719-J is to be contained inside (your mum).
created 22 Jul 2017 17:17
+439
💬︎42
edited 22 May 2025 05:47 by Billith
commented 07 Mar 2024 08:49 by Transfemme Fatale
antimemetic artifact cognitohazard ectoentropic esoteric-class illustrated joke polyhedral scp
O5-1: Oi, what the fuck is that thing?
created 20 Jun 2017 18:53
+198
💬︎32
edited 14 Mar 2026 02:10 by Billith
commented 12 Mar 2026 10:57 by giantcaller
concept esoteric-class joke meta scp uncontained
This page has been eligible for deletion since: 103 years, 8 months, 22 days…
Themes mf!!
created 16 Jun 2024 03:16
+61
💬︎11
edited 14 May 2026 01:26 by Billith
commented 15 Jun 2025 00:46 by Wynths
theme
Peanut Gallery
Classifications, Guides, and Icons by Billith
created 21 Dec 2022 04:52
+91
💬︎18
edited 09 May 2026 22:11 by Naepic
commented 18 Feb 2026 00:20 by Dr Paratagaz
artist logo
Hello there! My name is Billith, and if you are reading this, you've either lost a bet or have stumbled upon my technical classifications and logos page.
You Have Reached the Hole
created 05 Jan 2022 01:25
+34
💬︎10
edited 13 Oct 2024 05:41 by Billith
commented 24 Sep 2024 18:15 by choccoMan
bleak creepypasta horror mystery psychological-horror tale
There is a hole at the center of Everything.
MULTIPLAYER AFFAIRS
psychicProgrammer's A Recording of Prometheus Innovations' Pitch for the Scranton Encabulator Mk VI, and the Ramifications of its Existence ft. Billith
created 13 Aug 2024 22:07
+36
💬︎4
edited 25 Apr 2026 21:34 by Billith
commented 25 Apr 2026 17:47 by Matthgeek
co-authored comedy doctor-mcdoctorate prometheus science-fiction tale
First the needless company-wide upgrade to the iPhone 23, now this.
ADMONITION: Intermissions I & II by Billith ft. MontagueETC
created 06 Apr 2024 01:00
+280
💬︎51
edited 28 Apr 2026 23:46 by Deadly Bread
commented 15 Apr 2026 01:58 by Ashcloverrr
acoustic admonition anomalous-event audio building co-authored compulsion concept deepwell-catalog deletions-dept esoteric-class extradimensional james-harkness loop meta scp surrealistics-dept temporal
ADMONITION: Intermission II
created 19 May 2023 10:13
+483
💬︎74
edited 19 May 2025 06:43 by Billith
commented 18 Nov 2025 15:59 by clarezahermetica
admonition bleak co-authored computer concept cosmic-horror decommissioning-dept deepwell-catalog deletions-dept director-bold doctor-reynders goblincon2023 hard-to-destroy-reptile horror illustrated keter loop meta mystery nameless pattern-screamer prize-feature psychological-horror science-fiction scp simon-pietrykau temporal
ADMONITION: Intermission
Billith's C U R R E N T ft. Dr. Shoulder and Doctor Cimmerian
created 01 Sep 2023 23:06
+80
💬︎10
edited 17 May 2026 02:15 by Billith
commented 17 May 2026 22:55 by NobodyNo1
co-authored computer deletions-dept esoteric-class illustrated meta narrative scp self-replicating temporal
THE CURRENT goes where it pleases, and builds dams in its wake.
Darkstuff's In Absence of a Perfect Medium ft. Billith
created 30 Jan 2018 20:58
+253
💬︎32
edited 26 Jul 2021 05:25 by EstrellaYoshte
commented 24 Sep 2025 20:00 by RainbowGod666
aiad artistic building co-authored computer electronic extradimensional online portal safe scp tactile
Filename: nothingtoseehere.jpg
Name: Hallway 09
Author: Sampsonchen
License: CC BY-SA 3.0
Source Link: Wikimedia Commons
Irina Bougainvillea's: An Interview With Billith On Narrativistics
An Interview With Billith On Narrativistics
created 07 Sep 2023 07:05
+35
💬︎4
edited 07 Feb 2025 22:06 by Irina Bougainvillea
commented 07 Feb 2025 22:05 by Irina Bougainvillea
essay international
[[<]]
Filename: 01.png
Author: Billith
License: CC BY-SA 3.0
TheDesk's Dog of Interest, Indigo's Proposal ft. Billith
created 19 Jan 2024 10:38
+130
💬︎16
edited 08 Mar 2026 07:15 by Jerden
commented 15 Sep 2025 01:00 by MordechaiTea
animal canine co-authored joke raisa safe scp
According to Dr. Holland, the canine "can tear bad guys to shreds, but would never hurt a fly elsewise, even if it flew into his ear."
The Cimmerian Collection ft. Billith
created 09 Jan 2024 11:19
+52
💬︎3
edited 11 Oct 2025 06:41 by Jerden
commented 25 Jan 2024 16:04 by dr_kewey
art-exchange audio broken-masquerade co-authored journalism political tale worldbuilding
created 12 Feb 2023 06:05
+158
💬︎22
edited 02 Dec 2025 17:21 by Jerden
commented 07 Mar 2023 22:22 by RobotLettuce
art-exchange audio co-authored creative-destruction extradimensional neutralized scp sun transmission
It starts with an earthquake.
created 30 Mar 2025 03:55
+65
💬︎11
edited 16 Jul 2025 20:46 by Jerden
commented 02 Aug 2025 12:04 by NoName2087
black-comedy bureaucracy cadaver co-authored comedy esoteric-class goldbaker-reinz humanoid legal marshall-carter-and-dark reanimation sapient scp
"You know what's worse than being a dead employee? Being an eternally employed, dead employee."
ABC's of Death - Necrokitten's N is for Neon ft. Billith
created 17 Oct 2022 00:15
+141
💬︎16
edited 16 May 2026 23:55 by ObsoleteCorpse
commented 29 Aug 2025 18:05 by reptarien
abcs-of-death co-authored euclid fish hallucination illustrated intangible light mind-affecting predatory scp
Baker-Miller Pink (pictured). Those sensitive to cognitohazardous media should avoid prolonged exposure.
Oddments by Billith, TroutMaskReplica, and Rhineriver
created 08 Mar 2025 05:03
+56
💬︎20
edited 01 Oct 2025 17:30 by Billith
commented 28 Oct 2025 05:22 by saturnpolice
absurdism apocalyptic black-comedy cadaver co-authored cognitohazard comedy cosmic-horror esoteric-class horror k-class-scenario mind-affecting post-apocalyptic publicdomaincon2025 reality-bending scp surrealism
Filename: Red sky.17
Author: Kala Kalwanu
License: CC BY-SA 4.0
Source Link: Wikimedia Commons
Place's Four: Eight-Ball (8K Contest Top 10, winner of the 2024 Festival de Cannes' Palme d'Or)
created 16 Feb 2024 04:47
+391
💬︎75
edited 27 Mar 2025 15:54 by psychicprogrammer
commented 20 Jun 2025 14:48 by FcWhitewhale
8-ball 8000 agent-calendar aiad co-authored computer doctor-cimmerian doctor-mcdoctorate doctor-sokolsky doctor-wettle esoteric-class foundation-made james-harkness kain-pathos-crow marshall-carter-and-dark mechanical midnight-the-cat on-guard-43 probability sapient scp sigurros the-serpent uncontained undervegas wanderers-library
It's Casino Night at the Wanderers' Library. Docents and demons ally to deal every game of chance imaginable.
But we're here to play a game of skill; let's pocket the Eight-Ball.
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