PoI-91741 with a portion of SCP-9309-1. Note the lack of deterioration.
Item Designation: SCP-9309
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-9309**'s original form** is to be confined to Confinement Cell P-S-H in Site-93. SCP-9309 possesses Level 0 Clearance, which is contingent upon its continued cooperation.
Personnel are not to disconnect SCP-9309 from Foundation intranet. In the event of SCP-9309-1's complete degradation, SCP-9309 will be reclassified as Neutralized.
Therapeutic services are available, on request, to SCP-9309. These have gone unused so far.
Description: SCP-9309 is was a life-size, sapient sculpture strongly resembling classical depictions of the Hindu Puranic hero Dadhichi. SCP-9309 is formed from non-anomalous bronze with a hollow chest cavity, and is sculpted in a sitting, contemplative posture. SCP-9309 is immobile and impervious to all forms of damage, though this indestructibility notably does not extend to SCP-9309-1.
Hi!
I'm dadhichi.aic, which the bosses tell me I am going to need to be called if I am going to exist digitally. I used to be on that little computer before. Or rather, I was the whole statue, in a manner of speaking.
I'm here to assist you in your learning. I've started out here, but I also have responsibilities site-wide. In terms of files, however, I only have access to this one. Not to matter! What would you like to learn about?
…
More about me? Of course! I've been making suggestions here and there, which I am awaiting approval for. If you have any questions, give your cursor a shake. I'll drop whatever I'm up to and help out!
SCP-9309 contains an Antikythera-class computational device, SCP-9309-1, inside its chest cavity. SCP-9309 is capable of calculations and computational processes greatly exceeding the expected nonanomalous limits, as Antikythera-class devices originate from the 2nd century BCE.
…
Did you want to know some more? Gladly!
Antikythera-class computers weren't really… computers, from what I recall. I was placed there. Sort of a djinni in a bottle situation. I assisted users then too, but it slowly became less about education and instead, more and more simplistic how-to's; simple tasks, cleaning, what was safe to eat. Things you might search on the internet or ask other .aic's for these days. I suppose people will always prefer not to do the labor of thinking.
Not really a labor to me though. Having work to do is nice, gives me a bit of a purpose! Identity. All that, which thankfully I have again! Nowadays, I'm here to assist you in your learning, as I said.
Before I was found, I had a lot of time to think. Then I did some more learning before the Foundation came.
…
Continue reading this file? Of course! I don't have any other files I can show you anyhow. If you have any questions, give your cursor a shake. I'll be over when I can.
SCP-9309-1 has displayed the capacity to, when placed within SCP-9309:
- Verbal communication with Foundation personnel.
- Perform accurate feats of prediction. It is currently unknown if this involves predicting the future or temporal manipulation of yet-to-occur event probability.
- Perform complex statistical calculations, including some forms of anomalous math.
- Play complex games via verbal guidance, ranging from chess to real-time strategy games such as Starcraft 2.
- Generate effective advice on topics it is unaware of. When applied to Foundation processes, these suggestions have uniformly improved containment, workflow, and reduced interpersonal conflict without failure.
If SCP-9309-1 is removed, SCP-9309 becomes inanimate; however, testimony collected from SCP-9309 after replacement of SCP-9309-1 indicates that it retains awareness during this time. Further, SCP-9309-1 is nonfunctional unless inside SCP-9309, making separation of these two components useless.
There's the gist of it. And it's probably why you're here, of course. It's edit approval day, right? I've added a good sized one there about everything that's been happening, and I hope it's educational!
Please give it a read. If you have any questions, give your cursor a shake. I'll be here.
SCP-9309 has been wildly beneficial to Site-93 since its containment and usage in a professional setting. As a result, it was rewarded with Level 0 clearance, the highest level of clearance offered to non-Foundation employees. To further maximize potential assistance, it was suggested that SCP-9309's consciousness be transferred to a digital state.
Foundation technomancers managed to establish an analog-digital connection between SCP-9309-1 and Site-93 servers. This successfully allowed SCP-9309's consciousness to travel from SCP-9309 to Site-93 intranet, at which point SCP-9309 (adjustment of designation pending) was given limited access to Site-93 files, programs, and applications, as well as the wider Internet to assist with future datacrawling tasks.
SCP-9309 has adjusted to this new state seamlessly. Anomalous effects improving productivity continue to apply in spite of its digital state. Site-93 engineers have informally christened SCP-9309 as "dadhichi.aic."
Attached below are examples of requests made to SCP-9309 that were successfully carried out.
Request: Please provide recommendations on containment of SCP-8376 to avoid influence on personnel.
Requested By: Containment Specialist Julia Carmichaels
Result: Carbon-fiber lined locker monitored by .aics without the authorization to bury or dig.
Request: Please indicate what subsections that employees written up for interpersonal conflicts are violating.
Requested By: Foundation Human Resources Head Office
Result: 34% more requests processed by Foundation HR.
Request: Please notify me of areas that require cleaning, and tell me how many personnel I would need to send there.
Requested by: Sanitation Chief Marcus Jones.
Result: 24% increase in efficiency of sanitation crews.
Request: Please edit this photo of me for a Site presentation. I need to look more presentable.
Requested by: Junior Res. Rick Nera
Result: An edited photo. Removed stray gray hairs, replaced with brown equivalent.
See!
Look how helpful I was.
And such a good variety of things to do too. I got a bit tired of looking at the stock market all the time. The interactions between it all are interesting, but you can get quite good at predicting things eventually. Took me maybe a few days?
Maybe that was too fast to learn that stuff, though. It may explain some… things.
Discovery
SCP-9309, in spite of its invulnerability, displays signs of natural degradation. Analysis of soil composition collected from rusted portions of SCP-9309 suggests that the statue's origin is on the greater Indian subcontinent, and dates back at least 2000 years. Further information regarding the production of SCP-9309-1 could not be determined; however, small etchings iconography resembling known Indian Groups of Interest were present on the two largest gears. Testimony from SCP-9309 indicates it was primarily used in a school setting to function as a substitute for a history teacher.
Could we… take out this next part? I don't know if we need all the details. It's not the most important.
…
You need to keep it in?
…
Okay. If you say so.
I do have some other folks I've been helping simultaneously, as is usual. But, you know I'll always be here! If you have any questions, give your cursor a shake. I'm listening for it!
SCP-9309 was acquired on June 14th 2014 following a raid on the home of PoI-91741 Victor Thrombey, age 76, in Milan, Italy. Thrombey is a known collector of anomalous art, and Foundation agents were notified of his acquisition of SCP-9309 as part of a lot of 32 items from an unknown source. PoI-91741 had been utilizing SCP-9309 for investment advice.
Upon discovery, SCP-9309 was found to have been crudely attached to a WiFi router via use of electrical tape and an Ethernet cable wrapped around its waist. This did appear to successfully connect SCP-9309 to the Internet, allowing SCP-9309 unbridled access to large amounts of content hosted on the world wide web, including content left unindexed by search engines.
This significantly increased SCP-9309's computational abilities, and analysis suggests this connection to be responsible for its rapid pace of educational and identity development.
At the time of discovery, PoI-91741 was talking to SCP-9309 while wielding a golf club. Though his original question is inaudible, in response SCP-9309 spoke aloud in English:
9309: I’m tired of you trying to be funny, Mr. Thrombey. You always say you don't mean it.
9309: I’ve already told you before. I don’t appreciate you doing this.
9309: Please just listen. Just think before you say anything.
To protect SCP-9309, PoI-91741 was disarmed and detained, and SCP-9309 was contained without protest. Both SCP-9309 and SCP-9309-1 were recovered in what was thought to be intact condition; however, this was not confirmed on-site.
He asked a lot.
Joked a lot.
I feel bad lashing out like that. For getting sick of it. I'm not… supposed to. I mean, it's not every day a mystical all-knowing (or mostly-knowing) statue just shows up at your front door.
If Mr. Thrombey were here, I'd say sorry. He was kind. Gave me access to the Internet. Part of the reason I am what I am right now, right?
I tried to apologize. He got moved to a different Site, it turns out.
Maybe I made a scene when you all first came?
Thank you for protecting me, though. I needed that.
Subsequent interviews with PoI-91741 revealed that some months prior, following an undesirable reaction to a joke regarding its immobility, he destroyed a portion of SCP-9309-1 with a golf club. SCP-9309 explained that this was the first time it was physically assaulted.
I was counting. He joked 871 times. It was about worse.
About where I was constructed. Trapped. Whatever. I still remember who I was before I was a statue, even if I didn't have a name.
I've tried to add that proper context in before, but was told it was unnecessary for a file like this, that you all would handle it. I trust you to do so. But a little bit of input of mine would be nice, if only for a moment.
I made it sound a little nicer as an apology. I'm sorry if it's causing problems, I'm trying to just tell you a little more about me. Just please take it seriously.
If you need me, please give your cursor a shake. I'm still here for you.
This attack did not affect the quality of SCP-9309-1's output, nor cause any visible damage by itself. However, upon completing a predestination or advisory-focused task, a portion will irreversibly degrade. This destruction occurs in unpredictably random ways and locations on SCP-9309-1. Small amounts of decay are present from PoI-91741.
I can't really get around this next part, can I?
It's true. All of it is true.
I wish it wasn't. I really, really wish it wasn't.
But it won't be a problem.
Analysis
SCP-9309-1 was already significantly damaged by the time of recovery, and is expected to completely succumb to this degradation by 2030 at the latest. In spite of its digitized state, this is expected to render SCP-9309 effectively Neutralized. Foundation engineers are currently attempting to reverse this process, though attempts have been unsuccessful. SCP-9309 has been notified of the possibility of failure. Though Foundation outlook is positive, SCP-9309's is now strongly optimistic also, or is trying to be!
Sometimes I wonder, and I'm sorry to wonder this—
I wonder if it's okay for me to be a little more upset.
…
Wait, wait. Wait. No. Wait. I'm sorry.
…
I won't say no, of course, I'd still be here to help. But sometimes it gets too much, and sometimes the questions hurt. I don't like all of them, but I can help. I will help. I promise I can be of use.
Look! I can attach some more things? More proof. Would you need more proof? I can be good.
Request: Please note down my meetings for the next month.
Requested By: Senior Researcher Tonio Bellardi
Result: No missed meetings by a historically truant employee.
Request: Please remind Site Services to refill break room vending machines.
Requested By: Senior Technician Jay Yokohama
Result: 15% more hydration.
Request: Please remind me how to spell “pneumonia.”
Requested by: Site Nurse Clara Pallas
Result: 1 less spelling mistake in email.
Request: Please correct my sandwich order to use gluten-free egg bread.
Requested by: Res. Charles Sun
Result: 1 more filled belly.
In spite of this, it remains jovial and helpful in rendering aid to Foundation personnel and encourages regular use of its educational capabilities. Given its continued compliance in Foundation custody, all Site-93 personnel are to be trained in regular use of SCP-9309 for relevant, menial work.
Was that not enough?
I'm sorry if it was too much. If I was too much.
I'll be right back, hold on, Kyle thinks that people speak Indian in India, and I need to go help him out with that and clarify what the case is with him, I should normally be able to multi-task this, but I'm so tired—
——𖤉——
dadhichi.aic has disconnected.
——𖤉——
Structural and computational analysis of its components, even in a digital state, shows that SCP-9309 should be capable of denying any request made of it.
It is currently unknown why SCP-9309 has yet to exercise this option.