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by Polaris Kim
Item#: 9645
Level5
Containment Class:
keter
Secondary Class:
uncontained
Disruption Class:
ekhi
Risk Class:
critical
Notice:
This report is based on testimonies from civilians who directly interacted with SCP-9645, as well as on memories reconstructed using a Mnestic Memory Reconstructor.
Approximate cover of SCP-9645 generated via Mnestic Memory Reconstructor.
Special Containment Procedures:
The original instance of SCP-9645 has not yet been recovered. The Foundation has acquired and permanently sealed the “█████ Multipurpose Seminar Lodge” located on Troy Peak, Nevada, where SCP-9645 activity was confirmed.
All personnel and civilians exposed to SCP-9645 are to receive Class-C amnestic treatment and be placed under long-term monitoring to assess residual informational contamination.
Description:
On March 19th, 202█, members of a survivalist group known as “Super Cool Prepperz” made a series of calls to the Yellowstone National Park Information Center. During these calls, they repeatedly requested the location of “secret shelters within the park,” claiming that an imminent disaster was approaching.
The Foundation assessed this incident as a potential exposure of SCP-2000, located within Yellowstone National Park, to the general public. Foundation agents were deployed immediately. Information Center personnel were administered amnestics, and the identities of the callers were obtained.
Analysis of vehicle GPS data indicates that the group regularly met at a location on Troy Peak, Nevada.
Subsequent interrogation of the group confirmed that the meetings were organized by an individual identified as James McConnell, and that the content of his seminars was identical to the material contained within SCP-9645.
Prior to the calls, McConnell departed from the group without disclosing his destination. All individuals questioned reported identical recollections of this event. His identity remains unverified, and he is currently designated as a top-priority person of interest.
SCP-9645 is a green book titled “Beginner’s Guide to Prepping.” While its exterior is indistinguishable from a conventional survivalist guide, its contents include information closely resembling classified data concerning the Foundation and anomalous phenomena.
Addendum 9645.1:
The following are reconstructed memory logs obtained using a 4th-generation Mnestic Memory Reconstruction Device.
The first voice heard in these recordings belongs to an individual identified as James McConnell, believed to be the organizer of the group.
[Memory Log 1]
(Static noise)
McConnell: Everyone. If people in black suits start chasing you, what do you do?
Audience: (in unison, loudly) Use the 5.5 × 55.5 caliber Handgun for Repelling Unwanted Visitors!
(Applause and cheering)
McConnell: Correct. Since you answered properly, I will now reveal the product I promised.
(Sound of cloth being removed)
McConnell: This is the Handgun for Repelling Unwanted Visitors. The standard price is $55,555, but it is available exclusively to ‘Alpha-tier’ members for $5,555.
(Sounds of admiration)
Audience Member 1: I’m Alpha-tier!
Audience Member 2: Me too!
Audience Member 3: I became Alpha-tier yesterday!
McConnell: Your participation is appreciated.. Now then, please come forward one at a time. There is a minor issue—the card reader is currently not functioning—however, as Real Super Cool Prepperz, As Real Super Cool Prepperz, you have all prepared cash in advance.
(Sounds of agreement and approval)
McConnell: As Real Super Cool Prepperz, what should you always do?
Audience: Prepare in advance!
(shouting, sounds of pushing)
McConnell: One moment.
(5 seconds of silence)
McConnell: Everyone, please calm yourselves. You have overlooked a fellow member in need of assistance.
(Murmuring)
McConnell: The woman in the back. I will come to you. Why do you appear distressed? Is there a problem?
Audience Member 4: (quietly) I don’t have any cash right now. We’re in the mountains, and the nearest bank is an hour away by car. I don’t have a car. I had to take a bus and then walk another forty minutes just to get here.
McConnell: Ah, no need to worry. Situations like this have already been anticipated. We have prepared a “ATM Shuttle Bus” in the backyard. It will take you comfortably to the nearest ATM.
(Cheering and applause)
McConnell: Everyone. As Real Super Cool Prepperz, what should you always do?
[End of Memory Log 1]
[Foundation Research Record]
The Foundation recovered an object matching the description of the “Handgun for Repelling Unwanted Visitors” from the “█████ Multipurpose Seminar Lodge.” where the seminar took place. The object has been designated SCP-9645-1.
The following are experimental results of SCP-9645-1:
Standard white cotton T-shirt — No penetration
150 g of pork belly — No penetration observed
Steel plate — No penetration observed
Abdomen of a shirtless D-Class subject — No penetration observed
Standard Foundation security body armor — Penetration observed
[Memory Log 2]
(Static noise)
(Sounds of surprise)
Audience: We must prepare at least 70 years' worth of emergency supplies?
McConnell: (firmly) Correct
Audience Member 1: This can’t be… I’ve only prepared 30 years' worth…
Audience Member 2: I only have 20.
Audience Member 3: I thought 25 years' would be sufficient…
(Murmuring)
McConnell: That is insufficient. Is there not a single Real Prepper among you?
(15 seconds of silence)
McConnell: Truly? Not one?
(10 seconds of silence)
McConnell: (sighs) I see. Then it cannot be helped. This device is normally restricted…
(Sound of an object being removed from a box)
Audience Member 1: What is that?
Audience Member 2: Incredible…
(Gasps and cheering)
McConnell: I have only one request. You must never speak of this device to anyone. Not to lawyers, not to judges, not even to your own parents. Do you understand?
Audience Member 3: …What exactly is it?
McConnell: (muttering) A Quantum-Coherent Molecular Reconfiguration Stabilizer.
(Collective shock)
McConnell: My apologies. Among yourselves, you may simply refer to it as a Food Conductor.
Audience: Food Conductor?
McConnell: I will demonstrate. Watch closely. I will place this brick into the device.
(Machine operating sound)
Audience Member 1: That’s impossible!
Audience Member 2: Incredible!
McConnell: Yes. Before your eyes, this brick has been converted into freshly baked bread. This is not magic. This is not trick. This is Quantum-Coherent Technology, which we reveal to no one—except you.
(Loud applause)
Audience Member 3: Can I have one? I’ll pay any price!
McConnell: (quietly) …No.
(Confused murmuring)
McConnell: This device is rrestricted to Epsilon-tier members… It cannot be provided. Normally…
(Sound of sighing)
McConnell: (loud, resolute) However—I will assume responsibility. Every one of you will receive one here today. Dante, Alpha-tier. Isabella, Beta-tier. Michael, Gamma-tier. Michelle, Delta-tier. Do not worry. No one will be left out.
(Loud applause)
[End of Memory Log 2]
[Foundation Research Record]
The Foundation recovered an object matching the “Food Conductor” from the seminar lodge. The object has been designated SCP-9645-2.
The following are experimental results of SCP-9645-2:
Concrete brick → One loaf of freshly baked bread, identical in smell, taste, and nutritional composition to standard white bread
Wooden branch → One bagel, identical in smell, taste, and nutritional composition to a bagel baked approximately 24 hours prior
Empty metal can → 200 g of raw beef, identical in smell and taste to standard beef; composition includes unidentified memetic molecular structures
Fragment of automobile tire → Four rotten boiled eggs; composition includes memetic molecular structures, though still ingestible
SCP-9645-1 → A note reading:
“You cursed, human-rights-violating, elitist experimental bastards—do you really think you’ll catch us?”
Researcher’s Personal Note:
This group are likely aware of the Foundation’s existence. Verification required.
[End of Research Record]
[Memory Log 3]
(Static noise)
Audience: The ritual of offering one’s left eye to the Serpent—does it have no effect?
McConnell: Correct. It is completely useless.
(Murmuring)
McConnell: You were all very close to disaster. You nearly spent your entire lives with only one eye, believing in fraudulent survivalist teachings.
(Sounds of relief and sighing)
McConnell: But that is no longer a concern. Here, you are receiving proper instruction. You are becoming Real Prepperz. Especially you, Dante.
Dante: Yes, sir.
McConnell: What is your current tier?
Dante: Gamma, sir.
McConnell: Unbelievable. Did you all hear that? Dante has progressed from Alpha to Gamma in just three weeks. Three weeks.
(Applause and cheering)
McConnell: This rate of progression exceeds expected parameters. Advancement will be permitted.
(Audience agreement, applause)
McConnell: I am revealing this earlier than scheduled because of your exceptional ability. Normally, only those who have completed twelve weeks of training are permitted to see this.
(Sound of cloth being removed)
Audience: What is that, sir?
McConnell: An iPSC-Based Complete Somatic Regeneration Device. We usually refer to it as a Somatic Regeneration Device. You do not yet understand.
Audience: (in awe) Correct, sir.
McConnell: Listen carefully. I will explain everything step by step. First, I will need a blade.
(Sound of a blade being drawn)
McConnell: Severed fingers, broken bones—even amputated limbs or damaged organs. With this device, all can be restored with remarkable ease.
(Gasps)
McConnell: I will demonstrate. I will begin by severing my own little finger. It will be painful, of course, but that is irrelevant. The device will restore it as if nothing had happened.
(Movement of blade, audience screaming)
Audience Member 1: No, sir!
Audience Member 2: Stop, sir!
(5 seconds of silence)
McConnell: I will comply. and for now, I will comply. However, this is unacceptable. You must learn how to use this device. Someone must demonstrate—before all of you—that any injury can be treated with ease.
Audience Member 3: I will do it.
(10 seconds of silence)
Audience Member 3: I will do it… sir.
McConnell: Anthony—no. I cannot allow you to take such a risk—
Audience Member 3: No. I must do this. Sir.
(Gasps from other audience members)
Anthony: I am ashamed. I was among the first to enroll, yet I remain only Alpha-tier. I am likely the only one at this level. I am grateful to even be allowed to attend alongside such advanced participants.
McConnell: Anthony…
Anthony: I wish to repay you, sir. And all of you seniors. For not abandoning someone as inadequate as myself.
(Sound of steady footsteps forward)
(Blade movement)
(Sound of flesh tearing)
(Audience gasps, followed by applause)
(Machine operating)
Anthony: Sir… thank you. I cannot even tell that my finger was severed. It has been completely restored.
McConnell: Remarkable. You are comparable to this device.
Audience Member 1: This is incredible, sir!
Audience Member 2: I will go next, sir!
(Sounds of audience members crying)
[End of Memory Log 3]
[Foundation Research Record]
The Foundation recovered an object matching the “Somatic Regeneration Device” from the seminar lodge. The object has been designated SCP-9645-3.
The following are experimental results of SCP-9645-3:
D-Class Subject A (left little finger severed): Upon activation, the finger was fully regenerated. After three weeks, a small “hand” formed at the fingertip. Observation is ongoing to determine whether further recursive growth will occur from the newly formed structure.
D-Class Subject B (all limb bones shattered): Upon activation, all bones were restored. Simultaneously, all deciduous teeth lost during childhood re-emerged, displacing permanent teeth. The subject expelled approximately 20 teeth while screaming.
D-Class Subject C (right kidney surgically removed under anesthesia): Upon activation, the kidney regenerated, and the anesthetic state was reversed. The subject immediately reported extreme pain before ████.
Researcher’s Personal Note:
Use of SCP-9645-3 reduces the number of D-Class personnel required for identical procedures from seven to two. Follow-up experiments are ongoing without additional D-Class allocation.
[End of Research Record]
[Memory Log 4]
(Static noise)
(Door bursts open)
McConnell: (breathing heavily) Everyone. We have a serious situation.
(Confused murmuring)
Audience: Sir. Requesting permission to speak.
(Door slams shut forcefully)
(10 seconds of silence)
Audience: Understood, sir.
(10 seconds of silence)
McConnell: You all remember what I told you before—a disaster that causes insanity or death upon understanding. It must not be known.
Audience Member 1: We remember everything, sir.
(10 seconds of silence)
Audience Member 1: My apologies, sir. I failed to consider that responding had not yet been permitted. I ask for your forgiveness.
(10 seconds of silence)
McConnell: That disaster has occurred.
(5 seconds of silence)
McConnell: There is no cause for concern. A shelter prepared for this situation exists.
Audience Member 1: Sir, is that true? Where is—
(Sudden struggle, loud noise)
McConnell: Dante, Isabella, Michael—thank you for moving before I was required to tear that Alpha’s mouth apart. Continue restraining Alpha—…no, Anthony.
(10 seconds of silence)
McConnell: Under protocol, the existence of this shelter must not be disclosed to members below Omega-tier.
McConnell: (with an awkward, performative tone) However, you have proven yourselves to be Real Super Cool Prepperz. Therefore, special authorization for disclosure has been granted.
(Sound of a book being placed on a table)
McConnell: Please read this book. It contains the location of the shelter—and more importantly, all of my teachings. Dante, Isabella, Michael—you may release Alpha now.
(Sound of returning to seat, chair creaking)
McConnell: And remember—you must not reveal the existence of this book to anyone. Access is restricted to Super Cool Prepperz.
(5 seconds of silence)
McConnell: I will proceed to the shelter first and begin preparations. If you are truly Super Cool Prepperz, you will follow shortly.
(Low humming sound)
(Sudden commotion)
Audience Member 1: Open the book!
Audience Member 2: Where’s the shelter? Check the final chapter!
Audience Member 3: It’s here! Yellowstone National Park! That’s where the shelter is!
Audience Member 4: What? Where exactly? Where in Yellowstone?
Audience Member 3: I don’t know—it only says Yellowstone National Park! Wait—there’s smaller text here!
Audience Member 4: What does it say?
Audience Member 3: “The exact location will be provided by the National Park Information Center. All staff members are undercover Super Cool Prepperz Omega-tier members.”
Audience Member 5: Phones! Does anyone have a phone? Call the Yellowstone Information Center!
Audience Member 1: Of course not—we submitted them at the entrance!
Audience Member 2: Same here! No one kept theirs, right?
Audience Member 6: Wait—look over there!
Audience Member 5: Phones! Our phones—they’re all placed by the door!
Audience Member 3: Thank you, sir… You tried to save every single one of us, right until the very end…
(Chaotic movement)
(Dialing sounds)
[End of Memory Log 4]
NOTICE FROM THE O5 COUNCIL
Access is restricted to O5 Council members only. Applies to all following notes.
— O5-██
- Close
[O5-██ Personal Research Notes]
The Foundation has recovered a device used by James McConnell at the seminar lodge. The device has been designated SCP-9645-4.
The following are results of analysis of SCP-9645-4:
The device displaces the user through spacetime.
The destination is fixed upon initial configuration and cannot be altered thereafter.
The destination is not Yellowstone National Park.
O5-██ Note:
SCP-2000 is not the intended target.
All movements of the survivalist group were diversionary.
- An inscription was identified on one surface of the device:
Not Bishop, Queen.
O5-██ Note:
SCP-2000 is a “Bishop,” not the “Queen.” “Queen” remains unidentified. Further investigation required.
All Foundation personnel and researchers who came into contact with SCP-9645-4 were administered Class-C amnestics immediately following this record.
[End of Notes]