In-ring photograph of AFW talent "Big Frank". Click to enlarge.
Item #: SCP-9568
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: All SCP-9568 broadcasts within the Veil are subject to immediate blackout upon detection. Foundation personnel are to monitor and record SCP-9568 broadcasts within paranormal enclaves, anomalous states, free ports, and other locations of interest for the purposes of documentation.
Description: SCP-9568 is the unauthorized weekly broadcast of All Freaks Wrestling (AFW), a professional wrestling promotion whose roster features a variety of anomalous humanoids and entities.
SCP-9568 airs at 16:00 on Thursdays. While the promotion maintains an active, sanctioned television deal with FrigidWire, a media entity within the Three Portlands area, unauthorized broadcasts of All Freaks Wrestling penetrate the Veil on a weekly basis, and have done so since 2015. SCP-9568 airings interrupt ordinary broadcast transmissions, and contain no discernible point of origin.
Though communication with promoters and production crew representing All Freaks Wrestling has suggested that this is not an intentional breach of paranormal secrecy agreements, the Foundation’s investigation into the origin of these broadcasts remains ongoing.
Addendum.9568.1: Promotional Overview
All Freaks Wrestling events are filmed in front of a live spectator audience at the Morningstar Arena, a stadium venue located within the City of Three Portlands. Transmission of the show is conducted through FrigidWire, a media production company specializing in the distribution of television programs through closed channel broadcast networks in paranormal enclaves. Foundation investigation of Frigidwire’s production equipment has revealed no tangible connection to the SCP-9568 broadcasts.
All Freaks Wrestling largely follows the format of a standard professional wrestling promotion. Performers engage in mock-combat, with the matches often centering around dramatic and extravagant ‘storylines’ that attempt to maximize audience engagement. Audience participation in the form of chanting, shouting, or otherwise verbally reacting to the performance is heavily encouraged.
Like ordinary professional wrestling promotions, All Freaks Wrestling and its audience engage in “kayfabe”, a suspension of disbelief that suggests the events occurring within the context of the show are real. While match results are fixed and key points and sequences within the contests are heavily choreographed, the performance of these feats is a heavily specialized athletic process, and can result in severe injury if executed incorrectly.
Due to the prevalence of anomalous entities within the promotion, a secondary investigation of the All Freaks Wrestling roster was conducted to discern a potential origin point for the SCP-9568 broadcasts.
A curated list of anomalous performers employed by AFW has been included below.
Ring Name:
Current Alignment:
Description:
Notes:
Count Smackula
Heel
An anomalous humanoid that aesthetically resembles a generic depiction of Count Dracula in popular culture. Within AFW's narrative, Count Smackula is a drug dealer specializing in the trade of "vampire heroin", and attempts to force other wrestlers to work for him by offering the drug in exchange.
Capable of transforming himself into a syringe, an ability the Count has used to inject "himself" into the bodies of his minions, allowing Smackula to gain control of their actions.
Motherfucker Mole
Face
A popular and beloved character among the AFW fanbase. Motherfucker Mole is a large anomalous humanoid with physical characteristics resembling those of a mole. The entity burrows itself within the floor of the arena, and emerges from the ground at opportune moments during the matches of his enemies. Mole often drags his target into the subterranean environment, before disappearing with them off screen.
Engaged in a long-running storyline with the heel authority figures that manage the AFW promotion in kayfabe. Motherfucker Mole takes on the role of a working-class "everyman" character, and is frequently pitted against the villainous, corporate management who don't approve of his tendency to damage the environment and interfere in others' matches.
Pelican Nightmare
Heel
An anomalous entity that resembles a giant pelican. Pelican Nightmare terrorizes the audience by flying around the arena, regurgitating fish into the crowd, and occasionally eating planted fans.
Pelican Nightmare has been engaged in a years-long feud with Captain Bruce Trawler, a pirate character determined to hunt, kill, and eat the bird himself.
Bradius Traxton
Jobber
Bradius Traxton is portrayed by a different performer weekly. This is not acknowledged in kayfabe, despite the character's physical appearance, species, and ethnicity changing with every appearance.
Maintains a win-loss record of 0-622.
In Utero
Face
A pregnant woman whose body is being "piloted" by her baby, who she has kept within her womb for over a decade in order to birth the world's greatest wrestler. She claims to possess no combat abilities herself, owing her strength and in-ring knowledge to the developing mind of her child.
In Utero's child has been the subject of much speculation within the AFW fanbase, and the various prophecies and religious subtext surrounding their birth has been a developing storyline for several years.
Splooge
Face
An anomalous entity made of a viscous green substance, capable of manipulating its shape and size at will. Splooge is the leader of the "gooped-up clique", a stable of "goo-men" who possess similar abilities to Splooge.
Presently in the midst of a heel-turn, as the "gooped-up clique" has been recently revealed to be composed of Splooge's genetic material, a fact that the wrestler has been using to influence the group's actions.
1997 Bret Hart
Face
An anomalous humanoid identical to WWE alumni Bret "The Hitman" Hart as he appeared in the year 1997. Narratively, 1997 Bret Hart is treated as indistinguishable from the actual wrestler, and is considered to be the same individual within kayfabe.
The Foundation's genetic testing of material sourced from 1997 Bret Hart's body has proven identical to baseline reality's Bret Hart. Investigation remains ongoing.
The Linebreaker
Heel
A former football quarterback who transitioned to the sport of professional wrestling. The Linebreaker is a "monster heel", a character intended to draw large amounts of 'heat', even compared to other heels. The Linebreaker does not care for the sport of wrestling, and attempts to purposefully injure his opponents, traditionally targeting the head and neck areas in hopes of incurring concussions and long-term CTE.
The Linebreaker character has had a polarized response within the AFW fanbase, garnering a reputation as an "unsafe worker" outside of kayfabe. The talent has notably caused a series of permanent injuries resulting in multiple performers being forced into early retirement.
Ted The Driver
Face
Formerly an unseen individual who wrestled from the inside of his car, exposing only his arm. Ted the Driver was originally a despised heel, playing on the Three Portlands ban on automobiles. After being defeated and forced out of his vehicle, Ted underwent a Heel-Face Turn and began wrestling with the use of a rickshaw, aligning himself with the anomalous state's local cultural traditions.
When wrestling from his car, Ted would often perform feats of physical manipulation using the vehicle, contorting the frame and body of the car in order to execute wrestling maneuvers. This ability was seemingly lost upon transition to an autorickshaw.
HOGSLICE
Tweener
Documented within the Foundation's database as SCP-6599. A large, irritable anomalous humanoid indistinguishable from professional wrestler Scott Steiner. SCP-6599 is characterized by his contrarian attitudes towards the rest of the roster, frequently switching between face and heel in alignment, sometimes within the same match.
SCP-6599 has refused to break kayfabe in all of the Foundation's attempts to re-initiate contact.
Agent Orange
Heel
A masked hitman who refuses to wrestle. Agent Orange instead prefers to shoot his opponents with a concealed firearm, prematurely ending the match.
Agent Orange is frequently employed by the onscreen AFW authority characters, and is tasked with hunting their most persistent enemies, most notably Motherfucker Mole and HOGSLICE.
Professor Timepeeler
Heel
An elderly, but physically fit, academic who claims to be capable of time travel through use of a "special potion" he developed. Will use this ability in order to alter the outcomes of matches when he loses, causing officials to declare him as the victor minutes later despite losing. Professor Timepeeler will also refuse to wrestle certain matches, claiming that he "already won them" in the future.
Once had to be escorted from the arena by security after being attacked by a fan. Professor Timepeeler had lost to DVS Harmacist, a pharmacist wrestler, and altered the result in his favor. The fan proceeded to rip their seat from its fastening and hurl it at Timepeeler's head before jumping the guard rail and assaulting him.
Addendum.9568.2: Transcript
The following is a transcript of the final segment of the 2025/1/23 broadcast of SCP-9568, obtained from a completed airing within the Three Portlands area.
The seats of the Morningstar Arena are filled with cheering and screaming fans. In the ring, a tag-team match between "The Evil Brothers" and "Uncle Nation" is underway.
MISS METAL: Welcome back freaks! Tonight, the prestigious AFW tag team titles are up for grabs and the energy in the Morningstar Arena right now is electric!
Gog, the Educated Caveman: Eloquently put, Miss Metal. I haven't seen a spark like this since I discovered fire.
"Evil Muscle Band Fuck", a member of the Evil Brothers tag-team, puts "Your Uncle", a member of the opposing Uncle Nation team, into a submission hold. The crowd begins a slow, rhythmic clap as Your Uncle attempts to fight out of the hold.
MISS METAL: There's Evil Muscle Band Fuck executing his signature "Muscle Band Stuck" on the legs of Your Uncle! That's a devastating maneuver, Gog!
Gog, the Educated Caveman: Indeed, according to my research, no one has ever successfully broken out of the Muscle Band Stuck. One could call it an 'extinction event' in the ring, even.
Your Uncle fights his way to the middle rope, grabbing hold of it. The referee calls for Evil Muscle Band Fuck to release the hold, but the wrestler does not comply. He snarls at the ref and continues to apply the hold with increased pressure.
MISS METAL: The Evil Brothers are determined tonight! That's what I like to see, Gog! That ferocity in the ring!
Gog, the Educated Caveman: One might call it unsportsmanlike.
MISS METAL: Whatever. You're not even evolved yet.
Gog, the Educated Caveman: And perhaps you're—
The lights go out in the arena.
MISS METAL: What the hell?
The crowd begins to boo, followed by a chant of 'TURN THE LIGHTS ON'.
Gog, the Educated Caveman: It appears someone has turned out the lights! Perhaps the Evil Brothers are behind this!
Visual feedback appears on the jumbo-tron screen in the center of the arena.
A large SCP Foundation insignia appears on the screen.
MISS METAL: What is that? Who's interrupting the match, dammit!
The lights turn back on. What appear to be dozens of armored, nondescript Foundation Mobile Task Force operatives storm the ring, and proceed to physically batter both tag teams and the referee.
Gog, the Educated Caveman: This is a travesty! Who are these armored assailants? I am appalled, appalled!
MISS METAL: And you tried to blame the Evil Brothers! You biased prick, look what's happening to them now!
The MTF operatives stand in the ring. More operatives enter the arena from the stands, jumping the guard rail. All AFW personnel in the ring lay flat, beaten.
A bespectacled man in a lab coat emerges from the crowd, enters the ring, and takes the mic. The crowd boos ferociously.
Dr. Control: Be quiet! I said be quiet!
The crowd begins to chant "YOU SUCK."
The man paces around the ring, waiting for a moment of silence to begin speaking.
Dr. Control: I am Dr. Control, and I am here on the behalf of the SCP Foundation!
The crowd boos loudly.
Dr. Control: And I'm here to inform you that we're shutting your asses down!
The crowd hurls trash into the ring. Dr. Control is hit by a cup of soda.
Dr. Control: You have violated containment protocol, and as a result, the SCP Foundation is seizing control of All Freaks Wrestling! These broadcasts of yours have gotten out of hand, and as of tonight, they stop! Because from here on out, this company will be known as ALL. FOUNDATION. WRESTLING.
The crowd erupts in displeasure, continuing to throw objects into the ring.
MISS METAL: Who do these people think they are?
Gog, the Educated Caveman: What a horrible night! A disgraceful night in the storied history of our great sport! They should be ashamed of themselves!
Dr. Control: Boo all you want! Your local sports team sucks and you're all poor!
The crowd begins to chant "SHUT THE FUCK UP."
Dr. Control and the MTF operatives relish the reaction.
A cloud of debris appears above the mat at ringside. Suddenly, the crowd erupts into a loud cheer. Motherfucker Mole bursts from the ground, claws brandished.
MISS METAL: ITS MOLE! THAT'S MOTHERFUCKER MOLE! OH MY GOD! MOLE! MOLE!
Several MTF operatives attempt to stop Motherfucker Mole, but the entity plows through them, throwing them into the barricade. Dr. Control runs out of the ring, flanked by MTF operatives on all sides.
Motherfucker Mole makes it into the ring, now cleared of opposition. He grabs a mic.
Motherfucker Mole: HOW ABOUT YOU TAKE THAT FOUNDATION OF YOURS… AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR MOLE HOLE!
Motherfucker Mole throws the mic and flips two middle claws. The crowd bursts into thunderous applause and cheers.
Dr. Control and his men slowly continue to retreat, backs turned to the entrance ramp.
Motherfucker Mole: AND ONE MORE THING FOR YOU SONS OF BITCHES… WATCH YOUR BACKS.
SCP-6599, HOGSLICE, runs onto the entrance ramp. The crowd begins to chant 'YOU FUCKED UP'.
Dr. Control turns around and screams. SCP-6599 piledrives Dr. Control onto the platform. The MTF operatives run away in fear, escaping into the crowd.
SCP-6599: I'M JUICED UP! I'M JUICED UP! ROUND TWO, LET'S GO!
SCP-6599 runs into the ring and clasps Motherfucker Mole in a handshake. The two help the beaten tag team members, as well as the referee, to their feet. The crowd applauds.
SCP-6599: SCP FOUNDATION, WE'RE COMING FOR YOU!
The AFW logo is displayed, the broadcast ends.
The Foundation did not authorize a fictionalized depiction of itself to appear within the promotion. However, the appearance of the group on AFW's programming has temporarily stymied SCP-9568 broadcasts within the Veil.
AFW management has feigned ignorance regarding this matter, and the "SCP Foundation" has remained a recurring stable of heel authority figures on All Freaks Wrestling programming.