Professor Piggy is credited as playing himself..
Episode 13 - "Animal Husbandry"
Item #: SCP-9308
Object Class: Hypatia
Special Containment Procedures: Recordings of item are located at Site-12. The creator of SCP-9308 remains unidentified.
Description: Discovered 1999. SCP-9308 was a television programme broadcast from the town of Rodger, WI's public access network titled "Professor Piggy's Playhouse". The item aired weekly at 4AM between an unknown date and November 2003.
There are 62 known episodes, with many more thought to be lost. Each episode opens with an unidentified male wearing a rubber pig mask and formal clothing sitting in front of a fireplace and reading a book. He identifies himself as the titular Professor Piggy before introducing the episode's educational topic ("Algebra", "Marxism-Leninism"). He will give a rudimentary, often incorrect, introduction to the topic at hand, before abruptly cutting to the bulk of the episode.
A recording of the game "kick the can" follows. It is shot in one unbroken take from the point-of-view of the cameraman, who plays the role of "it". They proceed to chase a group of 8 - 10 individuals throughout a dark, enclosed subterranean location; players, stripped down to their underwear, attempt to evade capture. If caught they are spontaneously transported to "Piggy Jail", a small section of the lair enclosed by metal bars. Adjacent to the jail is a Budweiser-brand beer can filled with small stones and screws. Should a free player manage to kick over the can, all jailed players will be freed — the bars automatically rise into the ceiling via unknown means. Footage shows the location to be in an advanced state of disrepair, some rooms being partially flooded.
Episode 41 - "Carpentry"
"It" has won every game recorded. The moment they make contact with the last remaining player, there is a cut to a similar, point-of-view shot of the cameraperson spraying the jailed players with an unidentified liquid from a hosepipe. Loud oinking can be heard from behind the camera. This lasts approximately 3 minutes before abruptly returning to the opening set-piece of Professor Piggy addressing the audience in front of a fireplace.
The episode will conclude with the host erroneously claiming that the viewer now "knows everything [they] need to know" about the episode's apparent topic. The end credits are scored by the song "As Long As We Got Each Other" by B.J. Thomas and Dusty Springfield; they include the full legal names of all players featured in the episode as well as a multitude of names thought to be fake, with far more people credited than necessary for SCP-9308's content. Professor Piggy is credited as playing himself.
Rodger Public Access 9 administrators claim no knowledge as to how SCP-9308 aired on their network; broadcasting has been attributed to an unknown form of hijacking. The majority of individuals who appeared in SCP-9308 have been identified; all are residents of Rodger, WI. Most report experiencing nightmares involving the Professor Piggy character around the time their respective episode aired, but deny actually encountering him. Due to the relatively small population of Rodger (~1000 as of 2004), it is thought that every current resident above the age of 4 has appeared in SCP-9308 at least once.
The latest episode of SCP-9308 to-date aired on the 1st of November 2003. This is the only known episode to deviate from the show's typical format, consisting entirely of footage from previous "kick the can" games.
On the 5th of November that same year, a previously unknown subterranean level was found beneath Rodger's own Blue Creek Elementary School. Visuals matched the area shown in the "kick the can" segment, although the fireplace room could not be found. The space was bare except for a VHS tape containing Episode 62 of SCP-9308 labelled 'Best Of', three empty Budweiser-brand beer cans, an empty tripod bag and a handwritten note which read the following:
ovinmay owntay. ogerray, anksthay orfay ethay emorysmay.
When translated from pig Latin it reads:
movin town. roger, thanks for the memorys. [sic]
At time of writing, no new episodes of SCP-9308 have been broadcast for 8 months. Rodger Public Access 9 has been told to contact Foundation liaisons should any further hijackings occur. Public access networks in neighbouring towns have also been given the same guidance.